Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I'm an 80's girl!!!!!!!

Surgeon's appointment today and I nervously stood on the scales. I weighed in at 89.6kg... FUCKING AWESOME!!! I was dancing around his office singing "I'm in the 80's, I'm an 80's girl!!" My surgeon is really happy with my progress and doesn't want to take any fill out. I explained to him how much I struggled with my food, but he thinks that I'm doing OK. I'm enjoying the soups and tiny portions, and if it will help my weight loss, then so be it!

He wants me to lose 10kg by my wedding (in 10 weeks time!). I'm like... Yeah right!! I'd be sweet at 85kg... but he thinks I can pull a bigger number... Bring on the Challenge!!

LBG xx

Saturday, March 22, 2008

100g and I'm an 80's girl!!

Yup! I was 90.0kg today.. If everything all goes well tomorrow on the scales, I could be looking at a number less than 90kg!

This has been a massive barrier for me, both mentally and physically. I've been around the low 90's since October of last year, so that's 5 months to lose 5 kg! With this last fill, things have started up again and I can see the weight slowly come off now. I'm now in two minds about getting fill taken out. I figure I can live with this level of restriction for the moment... I mean, I'm still eating well... but I really have lowered my portion levels to minimal amounts... but I'm still making sure that I'm eating as well as I can. Tonight I had a tablespoon of vegetable fritata and around a match box size amount of veal cordon bleu.. And then some low joule jelly for afterwards... I didn't have much else today:

8:00am: Berocca Performance drink
9:30 - 10:30am: Gym Session (500cals burnt - 50mins exercise done)
BF: 11am cup of coffee and a cookie
L: Lots a Noodles Cup a Soup
AT: Cup of Tea and some mini easter eggs (maybe 5??)
D: Veal Cordon Bleu and some fritata
S: Jelly and a cup of tea..

I'm truely not restricting my food further, but I'm just so not interested in food. I think I would have skipped Lunch completely if I'd been busy, but it was a real lazy day at home today.. so I felt like some soup.

Anyhoo, hopefully I'll have some good news to report to you tomorrow!

LBG xx

P.S In Pounds, I am now in the 100's!! I now weigh 198.4lbs (or 14st 2lb!)... GO ME!!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Chocolate vs the 80's

Check out these numbers on the scales! Sooooooooo fucking CLOSE! 200 measily grams off being able to call myself an 80's girl...

That's just a really big number 2 isn't it?? Actually, this week has been really fun. I've been all over NZ and done alot of activities surrounding food and fabulous NZ wine. Monday was an evening at a gorgeous resteraunt in Wellington, 3 courses, easily managable being spread out over 4 hours, loads of great sauv blanc and merlot from Oyster and Hawks Bay in NZ, Tuesday was a trip to Christchurch, where we had a lovely lunch provided (1 sandwich and 1 toilet bowl later I gave up on lunch), and then because we had time to kill before our flight to Auckland, we had a lovely meal whilst sitting in the Sun near the banks of the Avon (I chose the soup...). We entertained some people for breakfast in Auckland. I didn't opt for the big breakfast, but had some porridge which I got through about 3 mouthfuls of and then left because it started to go cold (and I hate cold porridge). Then I was on my way back to Sydney. Didn't have lunch on the plane because I knew it was food I'd being bringing back up later. I had a cup a soup back at the office, before attending a thing where I was invited to speak. There was "supper" afterwards - mini sandwiches (that's definitely a no for me) and some salmon, cream cheese on these mini toasts (I had one and I was completely full!!). By the time I got home I was so tired, I went to bed without giving another thought to food!

However, Yesterday Thursday saw me having around 10 mini easter eggs and 3 of those next size up from the mini easter eggs. I thought for sure that was going to put a dent in my efforts, so I was surprised this morning to weigh in at .... *drum roll please*.... 90.1kg!! At my surgeons scales I would now be 89.9kg.. as there is a 200g difference between our scales. I've got a follow-up appointment with him on Tuesday... so the chocolate I could be consuming this weekend really doens't seems as important as hitting the 80's...

Have a safe and happy easter!!

LBG xx

P.S. This was what was in my lunchbox yesterday. The Tuna and Fruit Puree came back home with me...

Sunday, March 16, 2008

You'll be so proud!

I arrived in Wellington this afternoon after a 3.5 hour flight from Sydney. I'd had the insides of a beef pie, a 25g pack of pringles, 1 le snack and a caramello koala. So quite a few snacky things, the calorie intake was around 150-200cal for the beef pie insides, 150cal for the pringles, 100cal for the le snack and 100cal for the chocolate - all up I've had around 600cals. I was pretty hungry when I got to Wellington. I decided to drop my stuff at the hotel room and go for a walk. Now, if you know Wellington, you will know it is VERY hilly! My hotel is on top of a particularly large hill, the only way being down. I had the choice of just visiting the starmart at the next corner but I decided to take a walk down to the end of the hill and into the shopping area. All I really wanted was a decent coffee. Nothing really was open, except McDonalds, BK and Starbucks. So, instead of getting an icecream and drink from McD's or BK (cos there was no way I was going to attempt eating any of their solid foods!) I decided just to pick up a small latte from Starbucks. It was delish! I walked around for 45mins (there's my exercise!!) and then decided to head back to the hotel room...

Well, I walked up these motherfucker stairs to get to the top of the hill and back to my hotel room. Even though I exercise regularly, I still realise that I am still carrying 20kg excess weight (better than the 45kg extra I was carrying 2 years ago!!), and that I am still not THAT fit!

Anyhoo, for dinner tonight I'm going to have a grilled fish, polenta, wilted spinach and tomato salsa... YUM! Breakky tomorrow will be an up and go, which I bought at the corner store.

That's it for now! Peace out!

LBG xx

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I miss my routine!!

Last week I was in Asia, tomorrow I fly to New Zealand... will this madness ever end? Ok, it is going to end... after the beginning of April... I've started on a new job role.. actually I've just been promoted, but I'm a very interesting situation where I've been thrown into this new role (because the old person has now left) so while I've been transitioning onto this role, I've still got all my other responsibilities, which I'm currently in the process of handing over... So I'm travelling heaps to "hand over" everything to the people who will be taking over from me...

But I have NO routine at the moment... especially with my eating and exercise! It's all over the place, and with me being in different timezones at the moment, I'm getting hungry at the weirdest times!

Anyhoo, I managed a core class and a spin class - totallying 1.5 hours of gym time today, and tomorrow, when I get to Wellington, I'm going to do a workout at the hotel gym. That will be it until Thursday, but I do plan on getting to a body jam session in the evening of the Thursday, and possibly a workout during the day at the gym near work on Thursday....

So, what have I had to eat today?
Breakky/MT was 30g museli & Milk with a few unsalted nuts (walnuts and almonds) - got through around 3/4 of it
Lunch was half a Mango Lassi drink from this crappy Indian diner while I was out shopping
Afternoon Tea was 2 cups of popcorn and some nuts
It's now 8pm and I'm not all that hungry, but I will have a Velish soup to get some veges in me!

OK, enough from me, I have to go and pack for my trip!

LBG xx

Thursday, March 13, 2008

So much food! Such a little Stomach...Argh!

So here I am sitting in Changi Airport in Singapore, waiting for my flight... and I'm waiting at the Singapore Airlines Lounge (very very noice!!). The buffett is gorgeous... there is a mix of western dishes and traditional malay cusine as well as Japanese and Korean. I got myself a small bowl of Korean glass noodles.. have had one bite and I'm freaking full... ARGH! I mean so full to the point where if I eat any more I'll puke. And I know I'll feel this way at least for the next couple of hours. So I could either go into the bathroom and make myself sick so I can try something different.. (don't think I'll be doing that one!) I can keep eating until I do spew... just so I can eat... ( nope, that one doesn't sit well with me either) or I could just stare and the bowl of noodles I can't consume and get depressed... (yep, this seems like the best and only sensible option right now). *sigh*

I've had the busiest freaking week... yes I know, I always seem to be busy, but when you're overseas you have to fit in so much into the time that you have here that you feel like you do so much! I really haven't been eating much at all. I've skipped breakfast most days, or managed a mouthful of cereal and a yoghurt drink. I'll have a coffee or two in the mid morning, and all three days I've worked straight through lunch only to realise that it's 4pm and I haven't eaten since 8am and I'm fucking starving. I've had soup or soft fish for dinner in the evening. I had a delish Sharkfin soup in Hong Kong... YUM, and last night on the plane travelling to Singapore I had this most gorgeous soft bass in a cream sauce (with potatos and tomato and veges which I pretty much skipped). I managed all of the fish and was pretty pleased with that as I've been struggling alot with my protein recently.. Now these noodles are sitting in front of me, taunting me... I need to get rid of them! I'm not sure what my weight is going to be like when I get home... I never seem to lose anything while I am away, which I'm not exactly sure why... perhaps it's because I don't know the fat/energy content in the foods I am eating? Because I'm not exercising as much (if at all!!!)? Who knows..

Ok, over and out from me... I'm travelling on the Airbus A380 back to Sydney, business class and so I'm going to go and board now... Actually, just quickly before I go, I had the fish on the way over on the A380 and I think the hostess was worred about me when I pretty much didn't eat any of the meal... she was worried that I didn't enjoy it and asked me if I wanted to chose another dish!! God bless her cotton socks! If Only she knew!

LBG xx

P.S. I have to say a MASSIVE MASSIVE (or not so massive!!) CONGRATULATIONS to MJW who has lost a phenomenal 27kg since her banding in January! Well freaking done girl!!! You are awesome!

Monday, March 10, 2008

To fill or not to fill.. that is the question!

I had a lovely weekend... was at a wedding on Saturday, just gorgeous. Food was OK, not great.. but edible. There was a lovely salt and pepper squid platter for entree... now, I can't eat that stuff, no matter how much I want to.. but I thought I'd risk it cos it looked so good... after a few small bites I felt the tightness and thought to myself... uh-oh... the other problem was that the bridal party was making their entrance at the same time... so it's not like I could have quietly slipped out as all eyes were on the door!! Then the food went through and the pain went away. I knew it was all over and I was safe. So then I had some more... and some more and some more... 2 prawns and 6 pieces of calamari later I was very pleased with myself! I couldn't eat main - big piece of chicken, mash and some veges, although I did pick at the mash.. but that was about it. And dessert was this pastry thing with cream and it was good and easy to get down. I also drank alot of Lemon Squash.. loads of sugar, loads of calories. I did do 1.5 hours at the gym this morning, so it wasn't all bad! Yet the next day, I was struggling with cup-a-soup!! What is with that??? Why is it one day I can eat freaking calamari and the next I can hardly get soup down??

But, after much deliberation, I have decided that I'm going to have 0.1mL taken out of me next time I see my doctor. The only foods I am really eating at the moment are foods that get down easily - mostly dairy and crackers ... like for example, today, I'm waiting at the airline lounge to board my flight, and there is a lovely buffett with fruit salad, cereal, cheese, crackers, tea, coffee etc. While I would LOVE to have some fruit salad, I know I'm just going to sick it up, so I've had a piece of cheese and some crackers which is probably around 200cal, rather than 100cal for the fruit. On the weekend, I was desparate for a nice green salad, but when I tried to eat one, 2 spoonfuls in and it came back up... so I resorted to a cup-a-soup and an icey pole which have absolutely no nutrition!! I am purposely avoiding vegetables and fruit, and when I go out to eat I am chosing soups and thats it because I am so worried that I'm not going to be able to keep something more solid down. I was at better restriction before my last fill than now!! I would prefer to be a little on the loose side and be able to fill myself with things like fruits and crunchy vege sticks with tzatziki and low fat hummus, or make myself a small salad or have half a small sandwich, rather than eat two mouthfuls of something and then fill up on "easy" foods later on because I'm still hungry.

The thing is, is that I get full from the 2 mouthfuls, but once they go through I'm hungry again. Or at least I think I am. Logically I'm thinking that I should be eating something more because I've only had the two mouthfuls.. so I go searching for cheese and other dairy, crackers, chocolate, ice cream etc. Mind you, I only need to have a fun size chocolate or a small split (100cals) or a 30g slice of cheese and a couple of crackers and I'm full again...

I know that when you're over filled you don't lose weight... and I think that's what is happening. I'm exercising 4-5 times/week.. and it's decent exercise.. not just a light walk on the treadmill for 20 mins, it's solid sweatathons for 60mins at a time.

Anyhoo, will be away this week, not sure how much time I'll have to blog. I might have some time on Wednesday evening while I transfer flights, so will try to get on there!


LBG xx

Friday, March 7, 2008

Thank God It's Friday!!

What a week! I'm so busy, I barely have time to write in my blog, so it will be a quick one today. I did body jam last night. I was right up the front where I could see myself jiggle and wobble all over the place. But I did it with a smile on my face. I love body jam.. I wish it was on at the gym more often!!

I'm overseas next week, leaving Monday returning Friday morning. There will be temptations and challenges all over the place. I'm hoping that I can resist things like cocktails on the plan, the airline lounge food and of course the amazing asia cuisine .. but, a girl has got to live! Lets hope my band helps me out here!!

Ok, I might write again before I leave. I have a few more piccies to put up!


LBG xx

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Chocolate Binge

Last night I had the biggest chocolate binge, and I loved every single mouthful of it. OK, feeling slightly guilty now, as I didn't end up going to the gym - although I did get a bit of a workout of a different kind last night *wink wink*... but that really doesn't make up for the 400calories I inhaled after dinner!

I had half a packet of those red tulip easter eggs, 2 of those new honeycomb tim tams and a fun size snickers bar. Actually I have to admit, that this binge, while it felt like alot, really wasn't when I think back to my 2000cal binges I used to have!!

My calorie intake has been so low recently that I wanted to shake things up and inject my body with a bolus of energy.... and what better way to do that, than with Chocolate of all things!

Anyhoo, today I'm off to a Body Jam session tonight burning around 200cals. I'm also out for lunch today with my girlfriend who knows that I have the band. I'll probably stick to something safe like soup... I don't want to have to deal the whole public PB thing.

Speaking of PB'ing, I haven't had a puke in 4 days! That's pretty good. I think my band has finally settled after the fill and I'm eating foods that are a little more solid, although I am having to think more with my brain than with my tastebuds. I have to admit that I still get disappointed when I go out and have a meal and know that I can't eat half the foods on the menu. I went out for a meal with a girlfriend last week. It was chinese. I LOVE salt and pepper squid, but I knew I wouldn't be able to have it because of the chewiness factor... so I chose Laksa, which I really only at the soup part of anyway. I had one piece of her salt and pepper squid and chew chew chewed it, then spat it out into a napkin!!! But, it did taste good!!! I do miss veges alot, stir fry especially. I do still eat veges - soups and thoroughly cooked veg, but I can't do undercooked veg anymore... but that's OK!

I had pizza for dinner last night. I made a pizza on a mini tortilla and only got through 3/4 of it. I had photos - my fiance thinks I'm weird that I'm taking photos of my food, but I really want to show you guys how much I can eat, and how much restriction I have!!

This was my Pizza! It was delish... and below is how much I got through before I had to stop!!

And here's my photo of my boots that are way way way too big for me now.... Woohoo!!!

Have a great day!

LBG xx

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Excited to be able to eat!

I had my first decent large-ish meal last night. It was wonderful. I had around half a palm size of salmon baked with pesto and a zucchini bake (kind of like a frittata) around 3 tablespoons. Filled a small bread and butter plate nicely, took me 30 mins to eat and I was pleasantly and not uncomfortably full afterwards. It's meals like these that I love, because I only need a small amount to feel full and I don't feel like puking after the second mouthful! The food was a little softer than normal - no crunchy veges, but at least I was eating veges and protein! YAY! I'll post a photo up here of my meal later.. it's on my camera at home!

Going to a core and pump class tonight - so 1 hour 45 mins exercise. Go Me!

Have a good day!

LBG xx

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Mind of its own??

I question that when I was given this band that they implanted a little tiny brain to make my band have a mind of its own. Some days I can eat more than others. Like yesterday, I was barely able to eat some water crackers and tzatiki dip for lunch, dinner was a tin of spaghetti (the smaller one) with some cheese.

I am missing my salads and veges. I can only eat around 1-2 spoonfuls of salad and that's it! Even then, I have to chew my salad to a pulp before swallowing. I'm OK with fish, but that's about it - can't eat chicken or meat. not that I'm too worried. I do love my fish and I eat it pretty much every second day. I still don't get why I'm not losing any weight though. The scales have me on 91.8kg. I am exercising 5-6 days a week, pump and core accounting for 4 classes which is a heap of strength training. I'm also doing 2 spin classes, one body jam class and a little bit of walking and general gym cardio. I worked out I'm doing 6-7 hours exercise/week.. not bad eh??

I tried on my knee high leather boots yesterday. They're sooooooooo big on me! I've lost 5 cm of each calf just over the past 6 months!! So disappointed because I didn't even get a chance to wear my boots for a while cos my calves were so huge, now I can't wear them cos they look rediculous with the big gaping hole!! I took photos - I'll post them up tomorrow.

May your calves be skinny peoples!!

LBG xx