Friday, February 18, 2011

The BIG picture..

A few of my WLS blogging buddies are struggling with their lack of weight loss at the moment. I am hearing you loud and clear. I GAINED a kilo this week... WTF.. I got a fill and I gained? I didn't eat alot, I exercised 4 times during the week... and I gained.. fuckety fuck fuck.. I had chocolate tonight after dinner cos I was just thinking fuck the world, I might as well eat some fucking chocolate..

But I gotta keep reminding myself that there is a bigger picture. Yes, I would LOVE to be a size 12... but I'm not... Yes, I would love to be able to look at myself naked in the mirror and not cringe at what I see... but I don't...

The bigger picture for me:

1. I have an awesome loving husband, that doens't see me as fat.. he loves me for me.
2. I am a mummy to a wonderful little boy who continues to amaze me and melt my heart at every little thing he does.
3. I am still 20kg lighter than my heaviest weight
4. I exercise, and I exercise HARD. I love to sweat... I'm so glad exercise isn't a chore for me. because I exercise, I know I am improving how my body functions.
5. I eat well... I am slowing down or even stopping the chance of getting heart disease, cancer, osteoporosis. I will be around to see my grand babies grow up!

So yeah, big picture... when the scales aren't moving... look at the big picture. Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me focused.

Thanks for reading!

LBG xx

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Fill Drama

I went to get a fill on 4th February. My wonderful Dr put on 0.5ml as it had been over 18 months since my previous fill. Drank water with no problems. Actually, I did have a feeling that I probably should have asked for a little out there and then, but stubborn old me didn't, and I left the clinic with 0.5mL extra...

That night I had dinner with my bestie who was in town. I stuck to soup, which is what my Dr recommends for the first 24-48 hours after a fill. But, even that was not going through as easily as I would have liked. I had the short and sour soup from a chinese resteraunt... it was DELICIOUS, but I probably had 2 tablespoons over the whole 2 hours we were there! Not to mention the cocktail that I probably had 2 sips of and my bestie ended up finishing it off! She knows about the band, so she was cool with my lack of eating (thank goodness). I knew in my heart that I was overfilled. I bought a powerade on the way home and probably sipped about 50mLs total.

The next day the thermometer hit 46 degrees. I couldn't get fluid down by this stage, I think my stomach had swollen overnight. On the way home from mum and dad's my husband and I picked up a frozen coke each... that came back up and I made the executive decision to head on over to the emergency room and have them call my fill doctor.

I arrived at the ER at around 7:15pm.. my fill doctor was called but unfortunately he was at a bariatric surgery conference in the city. He asked if I was distressed (which I wasn't, just very thirsty!) and that if I was he would leave immediately. Bless.. I told him I was just fine, and was happy to wait. The nurse got me some ice chips of which I had about 5 and that was all I could have. I was so very thirsty!

He arrived at the hospital at 10:00pm that evening. I was tired, my iPhone was down to 10% battery and I was so thirsty.. I think the fact that it was a really really effing hot day just made it 100 times worse for me as well. I felt sorry for the other people in ER.. They had been waiting longer than me and I went in before them... and I didn't have to pay for it as my private health insurance covered me for hospital visits. YAY!

He took all the 0.5mL out.. and asked me to rebook for the following week to have more put in.

The sweet relief of being able to drink water... I was so thirsty I drank too fast and my Dr was telling me to slow down... liquids for the next 24 hours.

On the way home I polished off a 600mL bottle of powerade and bought myself some ice cream... what? Ice cream is a liquid!

The next Friday I was refilled with 0.2mL and that was a perfect fill amount. And I had lost 800g from the previous week!

Other than that everything is going fine. getting used to more restriction has had it's challenges. I forgot I can't eat sushi now and I bought some for lunch and it's all ended up in the toilet. So sad. Have made much more of an effort at the gym... and I'm really enjoying going too.

And my little boy, he amazes me every day. :)

Have an awesome day :)

LBG xx