Thursday, January 31, 2008

Surprise... Band Fill!

So I went to visit my wonderful surgeon yesterday for my 1 year post follow-up visit... and I had stayed the same weight... no surprises there... So we get to talking, all about what's going on in my life and some of the reasons why I'm staying the same weight. With more than 20kg excess weight, my doctor wasn't expecting me to plateau this early. It turns out that I haven't had a band fill since May of last year!! I have noticed less restriction over the past couple of month and had noticed that I was getting hungrier sooner after I was eating. I was also able to drink earlier after I ate - not like the hour I was waiting after each meal when I was first restricted.. so my wonderful surgeon gave me a 0.2mL injection into my port! 0.2mL ain't that much... have you seen how much 0.2mL is??? It's like a droplet.. But this little droplet made the biggest difference! I got to work afterwards and made myself my regular protein shake and I kid you not, it took me 1 hour to drink!! Then it was cup-a-soup for lunch and I spent over an hour chewing up my soft pasta with a bit of sauce...

I love my surgeon, I love my band, I love that little insignificant droplet of water, I love the restriction... oh how I love the restriction!

Moral of this story is - if you've had a fill longer than 6 months ago, go and see your band filler!!

LBG xx

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Reading other Blogs

I love reading other people's blogs... those of us out there who have chosen to keep a diary account of our lives with our new silicone friends, helping us shed the excess weight and reading the trials and tribulations of food getting stuck, dealing with ignorance and the joys that weight loss brings. I really love it!

I am reading a couple of blogs at the moment about Newbies with Bands. I've been banded nearly a year, and I still learn new things about it every day! Like yesterday, I realised that I can't do certain exercises because of where the port is positioned. But I digress...

So I'm reading these people's blogs with interest, mainly because I was in the exact same position and frame of mind as them back when I was first banded. The operation, liquids stage... mushies.. feeling full on half a cup of food, the amazement at not being hungry all the time and the joy of being in control of your food intake... it is really great to read.

I've started to think about what I think about my band and food now that I've had this band for nearly a year. My attitude certainly has changed since I was newly banded to now. Over the past year I've really had to learn how to eat again, and how I view food.
1. I still get upset and frustrated when I can't eat everything on my plate. That is a continuous head battle with me..
2. When I'm hungry, and I mean truely hungry, I eat way too fast and things go horribly horribly wrong..
3. When I go out for a meal, I panic when I get served massive massive portion sizes. I also worry every time I go to my parents for dinner as I feel like I'm lying to them about what I'm doing to lose weight. I also feel like their eyes are on me as I eat... and they always seem to serve food that doens't sit well with me or my band, and I end up leaving most of it for fear of something getting stuck
4. I'm focusing too much on what I haven't achieved. Coming up to 1 year banded and I've only lost 17kg. See? I said only.... 17kg lost in 1 year is pretty freaking awesome... yet, I expected alot more for myself ... and so I am disappointed. However, 17kg lost in one year is nothing to be sniffed at! I have to keep thinking about what I have accomplished...
5. Junk Food will ALWAYS be the easiest food to eat... especially ice cream, chocolate, biscuits, lollies...
6. Getting this band was the BEST thing I could have done..

So, I guess this post is a message to all those of you who are newly banded or who are thinking of taking the plunge...

DO IT... but realise that this is not a cure... you will still have to work through your own issues with food, the band just makes it that little bit easier..

LBG xx

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Tempremental Band..

Even nearly a year after I have been banded, I still find that my band can get very tempremental... Tonight I ordered Wonton Noodle soup. The portion size was laughable... I wasn't even going to get through a quarter of that!! So I dished myself a couple of wontons, a small amount of noodles and some soup. Wasn't even going to attemp the veges... Two bites of a wonton later and I'm in the loo spewing my guts up... I try again... another two bites and the toilet is my best friend again... so no dinner for me tonight!! Yet for lunch I had a rice paper roll (you know, the roll with vermecelli noodles and veges) with no problems...

Anyhoo... just wanted to give a big shout out to those of you who brought me to my senses with your comments about my rant about not moving on the scales. Brent - you are SO right... every time I look on those scales I should focus on what I have achieved so far... and not what I haven't achieved. However, I don't want to rest on my laurels! and while every time I step on the scales I do a little dance cos I'm in the 90's, not in triple figures and definitely not at my highest weight, I know that I've got at least 20kg to go!!

I've realised that I haven't moved in wieght for 3 months (with Christmas and New Years in between as well as a few overseas trips for work). And While I'm not making excuses for not losing weight, I have realised that I've been able step up the exercise and I feel smaller, even though the weight hasn't budged.. I feel a little less wobbly... There's less of me bouncing about when I go walking. I'm even adding some jogging to the mix... which is completely unheard of.. I walked/jogged nearly 8km yesterday.. and I felt fantastic...

I'm figuring that my body is catching up to the weight loss I had in September and October.. I know the plateau will pass.. I just have to get through it!!

Thanks for reading! Thanks even more for your comments!!!

LBG xx

P.S. I haven't weighed myself since Monday... that is like a total record for me... I'm dying to know what my weight is, but I'm not going to weigh until saturday (official weigh in!)

Monday, January 21, 2008

It's not freaking moving!!!

I've been weighing myself obsessively (I know, norti norti) over the past couple of weeks because I've really got myself back into a zone with my eating and exercise. The Portion sizes are perfect, I finish eating after 20-30 minutes, I'm exercising every second day and going really hard, breaking a sweat, and I feel like the scales aren't budging. Like yesterday I was 91.7kg, and today I weighed 92.4kg... and on Saturday I was 92.1kg... I feel like I'm taking one step forward and then one step back..

I think back to when I didn't have this band, and my portion sizes were out of control... I was eating crap... yet I wasn't gaining alot of weight! I was hovering around 105-110kg... now that my food has been cut down to at least 1/3 of what I originally ate, and I'm doing just as much (if not more) exercise than before, you would expect the weight to be dropping off... This plateau is starting to fuck me off... and I don't know what to do to kick start the weight loss again.. I'm on 1200cals (give or take a couple of hundred cals)... which is pretty low..

Worse still, is that I've got my 1 year post op appointment with my surgeon in a week and a half and I was so hoping to be in the 80's by then. Yesterday I only had 1.8kg to lose before I was in the 80's... today it's now 2.5kg... My body just doesn't want to let go of the fat.. Also, since my last appointment visit I've actually PUT ON WEIGHT!! just over 1 kilo... I don't want to go back to the surgery and weigh in at the same or at a higher weight.. I don't want to disappoint them!! (or myself)

I was thinking that maybe I need another fill - but then I look at what I'm eating and how I am handling food and I have a great level of restriction. I know that my restriction is good at the moment, and I don't want to pay $$$ to have some fluid put in only to have my restriction be too tight.. and because I hide the fact that I have a lapband, I don't want it to be too obvious that I'm struggling with my food, especially at work and when I travel - not to mention around my family - who have no idea what's going on... At the moment I probably vomit maybe once or twice a week... if that... and I'm eating a good variety of Protein, fruits and veges but in small small quantities -for eg - half an apple or half a mango, or 2 tablespoons of veges or half a cup of salad will do me. I still struggle with rice, pasta, bread and potato... and try to avoid them if possible - I normally go for dry crackers if I'm going to have carbs..

I know I know, I need to stop weighing myself every day... I'm not ready to let go of that yet... but I know that's something I have to work on.. I think I also need to talk to my doctor about what's going on and see if there is anything he can suggest.

Thanks for listening to me vent!

LBG xx

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Happy New Year!!

I am still here... just needed a break from the blogging thing - especially with the crappy anon comments... I just didn't want to deal with them any more - quite frankly I have bigger things to worry about than someone who I don't even know from a bar of soap trying to make me feel an inch big. I have some family stuff going on (the big C) with my inlaws, to trying to keep it together, sort out my wedding and lose weight.. nicely plateuing at the moment at 92kg.. and I'm totally cool with that.. :)

Hope everyone had a good christmas! I was with my inlaws for christmas and I only had a couple of spewing instances. I can't believe it's taken me nearly a whole year to work out what portion sizes to have. I've recently figured out that I really don't even need to eat a bread and butter plate sized portion of food... that I really should only be eating half to three quarters of that. I'm also still eating way past the 30minute mark.. and I know that's when I should stop, put the knife and fork down and step away from the plate. I'm getting that I don't have to eat what is on my plate (albiet a small plate) to be full!

The best thing this Christmas was that I didn't gain any weight! I ate crap, I still exercised... and I maintained... I usually always gain over christmas... big time gain... like 4-5kg gain!! I had a bit of fluid gain, but I think that was from the travel and have promptly lost that over the last few days. I'm back walking and cycling and have even started jogging!! WooHoo!

I've been getting so many comments from people... it's so nice to know that people are really noticing the weight loss now...

Now to break the plateau!!!

LBG xx