Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I had a massage last night, and my masseuse commented on how I had looked like I had lost weight. I thought about it for a second and said "you know, you're the only other person that would see me even half naked, so for you to notice that means that I really do look like I've lost weight!!". It was a good feeling.

Celebrity Slim Day 3 going well! Not Hungry in slightest!

LBG xx

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I forgot my pants!

Here I was, all geared up to go to the gym at lunch time today. I got to the gym, undressed, got my shirt on and the realised I'd forgotten my gym pants... so no gym class for me! I will go for a 45min walk tonight... so that will just have to do... Totally Bummed!!

Celebrity Slim is going better today. I'm not getting that head hunger I was experiencing yesterday and I'm alot tighter so the soups and shakes are filling me up for longer and it's taking me ages to drink. I didn't have breakfast until 10:30am cos I just wasn't hungry!

I visit the doctor next week... I'd love to drop that kilo before I see him to make me at 88.6kg.

Someone brought in chocolate to the office... ARGH! Be strong... I want this 20kg more than I want the chocolate right now!

LBG xx

P.S BB totally sucked last night... I was sooooooo bored I turned it off after the first 10 mins... And yes Emma, Kyle does look like he had a big stick up his butt!!!

P.P.S. Totally excited about The Biggest Loser Finale on Thursday. Blue for Life!!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Start of Celebrity Slim

Just an update on the socializing situation that went down yesterday, I had a lovely big slice of cookies and cream cheese cake that probably had a gadzillion calories in it… Oh My Fucking GOD it was devine! I haven’t tasted anything so good in soooooooooooooooo long…. But… I only ate half of it! AND… I really struggled to get through that half. After I’d got through half I didn’t even want to look at it, and it started to make me feel ill. But it was so so so good!

Anyhoo, today I have started on my celebrity slim challenge… so far so good. I’ve been for a 45 minute treadmill session this morning and am looking forward to a spin session with a hard core trainer tonight. This guy does not stop for 45 mins… no, I mean he doesn’t have breaks in the music, it’s just one track or another… I’ve had a shake this morning (love choc-mint, it’s my fave) and I had a chicken soup for lunch which I can say is HEAPS better than the Opti-Crud soup I was drinking before the operation… I’ve had a handful of almonds mid morning and I’m just getting hungry now (it’s 3pm and I had the soup at 12:30pm). So I’m sipping on a can of sprite zero and trying to hold off having my yoghurt until just before I leave for my spin class so I have a little more energy. Tonight I’m going to have a beef rissole and a salad – although it’s going to be a mini mini portion.

Big Brother is starting tonight. I’m a bit excited because it’s going to be totally new. New hosts, Kyle and Jackie O and random constestants… bring on the bizarreness!

Have a good day!

LBG xx

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Socialising and the Band

I love my band... It is truely the best thing I could have done for myself. I've got a day of socialising today... Brunch with a girlfriend in the morning and then coffee and cake in the afternoon with some other girlfriends.

So I went to brunch this morning, and was a little worried about what to order. I'm also on a bit of a budget at the moment (with the wedding coming up!) so I only had $10 to spend, which is actually all I really need cos I don't eat much! I ordered a coffee and a slice of Banana bread. I drank the coffee and managed 1/4 of the bread. My friend asked me if the bread was OK as she was concerned that I hadn't eaten much. I said that it was too "Banana-ery" for me. I don't like the taste of banana, but I like banana bread... so I have a good excuse there. I probably had 200 cals if that!

I've come home and have had a bowl of popcorn and now I'm FULL! I have some left over sashimi in the fridge which I might have a little later if I feel like it. This afternoon I have a coffee/cake session with some friends. I can't do cake very well... although Cheese Cake goes down very very easily. I'm actually going to allow myself a slice of cake and a coffee, and plan to go for a walk/run later this evening. I'm also having a very very small meal of 1 sausage (more like half a sausage!), a corn on the cob (although I doubt I'll have more than a few mouthfuls) and some salad. I'm coping more with the veges these days, which I am LOVING... there is nothing like steamed fresh veges...

Since I've got just over 1 month now until the wedding I've decided to go back to Celebrity Slim. I'm going to have a shake for Breakfast and Lunch, protein snacks in between if I feel like it (ie tuna cans, nuts, cheese, ham, chicken, cup-a-soup) and then a proper meal in the evening, but with no carbs such as potato, rice, pasta or bread. Good thing is, is that the only carb I can actually manage is rice, and I hate making it! I'm also going to step up the exercise a little as well.

This week my exercise plans are as follows:
Monday: Spin Class 45 mins
Tuesday: Abs Butts and Thighs Class (lunch time - 45 mins) and then a treadmill session in the evening 45mins
Wednesday: Core Class and treadmill session 45 mins + 30 mins
Thursday: Body Jam 60 mins
Friday: 1 hour walk 60 mins
Saturday: Spin Class and Pump Class 45 mins and 60 mins
Sunday: Rest Day

Total exercise time 7 hours 15 mins... AWESOME!

Peace out!

LBG xx

P.S I've just entered in the 2008 Mother's Day Classic Fun Run! 3rd year for me doing it. I am only doing the 4km walk... next year... I'm definitely going to enter the 4km RUN!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Being Normal..

I have always considered myself "normal".. that is, my obesity never affected me. I met my fiance at 86kg... ballooned to +120kg with him and am now close to my weight I was when I first met him. He's loved me through the whole thing.. and that's one of the (many) reasons why I love him back. But enough about me... !! I watched "Big Medicine" on Foxtel Health and Lifestyle Channel today and there was one guy on there who at his heaviest was 1000lb or 454kg!!! He was so big, he had been confined to a bed for 7 years before he finally had his gastric bypass. He couldn't do anything for himself.. he couldn't even go to the toilet and wipe his ass by himself. I, thank goodness, have never ever been in a position where my obesity has affected living my life. This guy is now down to 560lb or 254kg and he is still unable to support his body weight on his legs because his muscles are so atrophied from being bedridden for so long. Today I want for a walk with my friend. We pounded the pavement for just over an hour and walked 7km. I felt great afterwards, and didn't even give a second thought about my legs, my movements or my body.

As mentioned, I am due for my surgeon's next visit on 6th May. I'm now down to 89.5kg (and that's just after a 5 hour plane flight where I retain fluid something shocking... so definitely on the downward slide at the moment!

In a good headspace right now! Hope all is well you and your Bands!

LBG xx

P.S If you're interested, I ended up having Sashimi for dinner on Wednesday night... no soup for me! It went down a treat and sooooooooooooooo soooooooo healthy! Bring on those Omega 3s!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Finally in control!

As you regulars know, I have had trouble with my food since my last fill in March. I think I might have finally got things under control... that and I think my band has loosened slightly. I'm able to eat smaller portions of "normal" foods. When I say normal I mean things that don't have the consistency of diarrhoea.. (sorry for the visual!!). Last night I went out for dinner and I had a small size (didn't even consider going regular!) of a lovely grilled atlantic salmon (one of the only protein foods that I feel comfortable eating at the moment), seved on a bed of sushi rice and greens. I had the whole piece of fish (was devine) 1 sushi roll which I ate with the fish, and not on its own.. and a couple of mouthfuls of this devine rocket, feta, pear and walnut salad. I felt great, full... not ready PB and really pleased with myself. I even skipped the bread platter they brought out at the start cos I knew it would be all over red rover for me if I attempted bread (as delish as it did look!)

Today for lunch I chose Risotto balls. There really wasn't anything else that I thought was really appropriate... If they had soup I would have had that... and I wasn't prepared to try a salad with only 30mins of eating time... although I was tempted - If it had been a longer lunch with time to mull over the salad and drink a glass of sav blanc then I may have considered. There were 4 of these risotto balls, probably each the size of a golf ball each with chicken and cheese inside. I had 2 over half an hour and was full, good full not bad full... and I knew that if I'd had any more then it would have been a disaster..

I am learning... it's only taken me 1 year and 2 months!! Tonight I'm going out for dinner with a friend, and I'm thinking Italian.. or Thai.. but I'm craving soup... like a hot laksa or hot and sour soup... no noodles, just cruchy veges that I'll probably PB up... Maybe a risotto.. but I don't like the carb overload at night... hrmmmm decisions decisions...

What do you have when you go out for a meal?? Does going out intimidate you? I think about going out for dinner for at least 1 hour, trying to figure out where to go and what to eat. If I'm going with other half then I usually just share his... EASY! But when I'm out by myself or with girl friends I always get the comment... you're not eating much these days... ARGH!

I have a Surgeons appointment on 6th May. I would love to be below 88.6kg as this would mean that I have lost 20kg since my surgery... that's 1.1kg to go in just under 2 weeks... definitely doable!

LBG xx

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I've been attacked!!

Yup, you heard it here... I've been attacked, by my own gall bladder!! Woke up with some nasty feeling pain in my upper right side just where my port has been placed (but deeper) and I knew immediately that I was having a little gall bladder attack. Now, I say little because I've had these attacks way way way worse than this little episode this morning. I have an early morning flight this morning, so I was awake at 5:30am... in some pain. So I got up, sipped on my Berocca and had a lovely hot shower. For some reason, the pain went away and I am able to get on my 4 hour flight today (the joys of travelling to Perth!).

One of the side effects of losing weight.. yes, there is a bad side effect, is that if you have stones in your gall bladder, for some bizarre reason, seem to want to come out through the tiny ducts that line that special little organ. The pain, for those of you who have been lucky enough not to experience it, is the worse motherfucking pain ever. I haven't experienced child birth (yet) so I don't know what that is like, but I've heard that this pain is heaps worse. You get this ache in your right side under your rib cage. This ache grows until the pain is so unbareable you start to vomit and rub your chest in the hopes that you can puncture your skin and rip the damn thing out yourself. Eventually the stone passes (or goes back into the gall bladder) which is what happened to me... and the pain goes away.. or it lodges in the duct and you have to go in for emergency surgery to remove the little fucker. I know this is what is going to happen to me. I have begged my lap band surgeon to remove my gall bladder during my lap band surgery... no deal. I can only have it out if it causes me continuous pain. So, I just sit patiently now and wait until I need to be hospitalised before I have it removed. I have massive family history of gall stones. Mum and Dad and my nanna all have had theirs removed due to stones. It's only a matter of time for me.. I have an appointment with my gorgeous lapband surgeon coming up in May and I will be talking to him about it again then...

My worst nightmare is to be attacked by my own organ when I'm not at home (i.e. travelling for work).

On another note, I have weighed in today at 89.7kg - very happy. My weight loss is slow, but my focus now is so much wider than just the number on the scales. I'm now able to jog on the treadmill for 15 minutes non-stop. This is such an amazing accomplishment for me, as I could never jog before. I've noticed especially my improvement on the treadmill, now walking at 6.0km/h is "easy" and I crank it up to 6.5km/h to "feel the burn". Whereas before, 6.0km/h for 20mins killed me - I can do 45 mins without breaking a sweat! My clothes are fitting so much better. My undies are so loose on me now I had to go out and buy some more, all size 16! I still think I'm alot bigger than I am, and so get pleasantly surprised when the 18's are baggy on me. I'm using clothes from my wardrobe that I couldn't fit into before and when I glance at myself in the mirror I do a double take because I just don't recognise myself anymore.

I'm sure you're asking why I don't post photos on my blog. Well, the decision to have a lapband for me was extremely private. Not many people know at all, and that includes my entire family! I figured for me, this was my last chance, and that if I failed at this, then there was no hope. I didn't want to have to deal with my family watching me eat, asking questions, critising me if I was eating something I shouldn't. I feel guilty every time I see my parents as they are just so pleased with my weight loss. Dad is so proud of me, he has paid for my gym membership. I want to tell them, and perhaps one day I will. But right now, it's about me.. and I've got to do this for myself. So that's why I don't post photos, because I want to remain anonymous. However, if you regular readers want to see photos of me, drop me an e-mail ( and I'll send some before and after shots!

Have a good day! I hope to write again soon!

LBG xx

Friday, April 18, 2008

Feeling... Blah!

What a turn around from yesterday's post! I'm feeling like total shite today! I have a motherfucker of a headache that has been with me since yesterday morning... my diet went to shit as well... Breakky was good... then it went down hill from there... I had a spinache and feta scroll from bakers delight for lunch... which didn't go down so well, and came up later too.. Got through half and needed to PB... went back and did you think I would have learnt my lesson and thrown the rest away? No... of course not! I ate the rest (small bites, lots of chewing).... and it still all ended up in the toilet! I also bought myself one of those "vitamin" drinks.. even that was threatening coming back up! What is with that??
Because of that I felt sore, so I didn't end up having my soup... but by around 3pm I was hungry, so raided the biscuit barrel at work - they went down easy peasy! Then I went shopping after work... I was hungry then... but didn't want to battle with food, so I ordered a kids corn chips and dip from Xquisito. Had around 5 chips with dip and was full again. Dinner was potato and leek soup, and then the rest of the corn chips and dip... then I had 3 fun size milky ways...

I've realised that I had very minimal hydration and have been sporting a massive headache almost migrane like since yesterday afternoon... I've called in sick today because I haven't been able to shake it and my concentration levels are low. I'm also having trouble focusing on the computer (yep, really shouldn't be blogging right now!!). I just know that if I go to work then it's not going to go away... my house is nice and dark and I've got the kettle on... ready to make myself a nice hot cuppa. It's also doona weather today so I'm looking forward to snuggling on the couch with foxtel...

BUT, in saying all that, I am supposed to meet a friend for lunch... and then I'm going to head straight on over to the gym for a work out if I'm feeling better...

Happy Friday everyone!

LBG xx

Thursday, April 17, 2008

How am I feeling?

Bloody terrific at the moment! Just got back from an early morning gym session where I jogged/ran for 10 mins straight and also did 10 minutes of on/off jogging/walking. 45mins and 403 calories later I’m feeling fanshmabulous! I LOVE the fact that I have so much energy at the moment! Even though I’m eating way less than before the band, I have tones more energy… weird huh?

Thanks for the sipping advice Reney babes! Much appreciated. I did try having a cup of tea in the morning for a while (especially during winter). But I found I could only drink about 1/3 of it, and I was missing out on my berocca as well… so I had to make a choice, and the berocca it was!

I was able to eat quite a bit yesterday evening – I had the left over risotto and half a chicken kiev! I ate it over around 45minutes while I was watching this amazing show about this little girl that has this disease called “FOP” (not sure what that stands for, have to google it. Basically over the course of her very short life her muscles turn to bone and she becomes encased in her own body. They interviewed this 55 year old man who chose to live life “standing up” when too much of his muscle was bone… I was thinking to myself, my goodness, I may be fat… but some people have it so much tougher than me. I need to be thankful for what I do have, and stop complaining about the small shit!

50 days to go until the big day…. I must admit, I am starting to get a little nervous. I was really hoping to be lower in weight by my wedding day… and I could still pull off another 5kg by then, but realistically I’m not so sure! I’ve picked up the exercise effort quite a bit, so hopefully that should help. I had my hair trial this week and I must admit, I am so pleased with the hair do I’m going to have. What’s even better is that I had photos taken of my hair and I look amazing. Ok, so I also had a make-up trial so my skin was looking particularly flawless, but I can actually see my collar bones and my jaw line. I just keep looking at these photos because I really do see the difference…

Food efforts today will be:

6:30am Before BF: Berocca Performance
7:30am – 45minute treadmill action – 403 calories later..
10:00am – Up and Go
12:30 – Lunch out – hrmmm… not sure what to have here, cos I brought my lunch, so I’ll probably just grab a coffee and sip that while the others eat…
1:30pm – Velish Winter Vegetable Soup
3:30pm – Coke Zero
5:30pm – Yoplait Light Yoghurt
6:30 – 7:30pm – Body Jam class
8:00 – Half a can of country ladle potato and leek soup and maybe 1 small bread roll..

Total Calories around 900. Not bad!

Happy Thursday Everyone!

LBG xx

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Morning and Night Differences

I was going to title this blog entry "tight in the morning, loose in the evening" but that doesn't sound too good does it! But it is true... I'm so freaking tight in the morning. I have my berocca when I wake up at around 6:30am... it's now 8:30am and I feel like it's just sitting there, slowly going through, but I have such a tightness in my chest that I wouldn't dream of having anything else to eat right now. Then I have an up-and-go at around 10am and that lasts me til around 1pm... then I have soup, which takes me aaaaaaaages to finish (if I don't need to visit the loo for a quick PB like yesterday). By the time dinner rocked round yesterday I was able to fit in a small bowl of chicken and vege brown rice risotto... or a small shepherds pie (on Sunday)... and eat it reasonably quickly (by reasonably quickly I mean within 30 mins) and then I'm hungry an hour later... OK, I know I'm now physically hungry, but I want something sweet...

Eating has definitely become more annoying than pleasureable... I just couldn't be bothered sometimes... and sometimes I get so hungry and I know that if I eat something relatively normal I'll probably PB it up that I turn to easy to eat foods like chocolates and chips.. although that is happening less and less...

OK, enough from me... have a good day!

LBG xx

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Scales Obsessed? I think so!

I am loving seeing the big number 8 on the scales... I have this ritual in the morning when it comes to weighing myself. Firstly, I get up (usually before the alarm because I'm so full of beans!), and get me and fiance's Barocca Performance. While that is fizzing away, I strip... do a wee (and a number 2, but normally they don't happen until later in the day.. if at all!!). Then I slide the scales out to a patch on my bathroom tile that I use for consistency.. and get on to see the numbers. I then either do a quick happy dance if the numbers are kind... or I pout and hop back into bed and drink my berocca while watching the 6:30am news. However, once I have that berocca... I don't dare get on those scales... as I would be heavier than before. I sometimes hop on the scales at night, just to see what the difference is between the evening and the morning...

I find that weighing myself keeps me on track a little too.

Food lately has been pretty good recently. I'm having around 800 - 1000 cals per day, and having things like fish, nuts, vegetable soups, crackers, cheese, potato, steamed veges, Fruit puree and canned chopped fruit. My god it is still taking me ages to eat, but I'm not stressing that I"m not eating enough. I've still got Tonnes of enery at the moment. I'm at the gym every day pretty much - today I was JOGGING on the treadmill for 16 minutes! How fucking awesome is that!!! Yesterday I jogged for 5 minutes twice with a 5 minute walking recovery and today I just thought I would jog for as long as possible before I got a stitch or needed a break. First time I jogged for 6.5 minutes, and the second time I jogged for 10 minutes! with only a 2 minute walking break in between. Go me!!

Oh, and today, I'm wearing this cute black and white skirt in a size 16 from Jacquie E with a size L top from Jacquie E too!! I recently chucked a whole lot of clothes and have had to restock on some autumn/winter work clothes... ALL size 16 now... I think I have left the 18's well and truely behind.

LBG xx

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Definitely an 80's girl now!

(Please excuse my skanky skanky toenails... I am in desparate need of a Pedicure!!)

You know how I announced I was an 80's girl the other week? Well that was on my doctors scales. However, on my scales, they read 1kg heaver than my doctor. Well ladies and gentlemen... today I weighed in on MY scales at 89.7kg. That DEFINITELY makes me an 80's girl now!! Woohoo!! (it also makes me 88.7kg on my doctors scales... but I'm not counting that!!)

I have had a really shocking week with food. I was away overseas the last part of the week and literally my band was so tight that I couldn't even get an up an go down... It felt like I had a golf ball wedged in my chest pretty much the whole day. It loosen up a bit during the evening and I was able to get a nice piece of fish down one night and then about a quarter or a burrito down the next night, but at one stage very close to visiting to loo half way through the meal. Yet last night while I was on the plane coming home a mouthful of mashed potato had me PB'ing into the sick bag... NOICE! I don't know why I bother eating when I'm flying... I just couldn't be bothered with the whole sick thing... And then, because I was so swollen and tight from the PB'ing on the plane, after drinking some OJ when I got home, that came up too!!! CRAZY!! I've had a fairly quiet day with food today... going to cook a shepherds pie for dinner tonight, nice and soft food for me to eat... doubt I'll get through much, but I have the In-laws staying with me at the moment so I'm obliged to feed them... *sigh*

Anyhoo, hope you're all having a great weekend so far!

LBG xx

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Emotional eating almost a problem!

2 close famility members were hospitalised this week... for different reasons all relating back to the one thing... SMOKING! Acute Respiratory Failure and Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer, stage 4. When I heard about all of this all I wanted to do was wrap myself up in a large garlic cheese pizza... but apart from the fact that I wouldn't be able to eat it anyway... I got the thoughts out of my head and powered on.

So it's been a pretty full on week for me. I'm off to NZ tomorrow for 3 days, back on Friday... hopefully things on the home front will quiet down a little bit!


LBG xx