I've been attacked!!

Yup, you heard it here... I've been attacked, by my own gall bladder!! Woke up with some nasty feeling pain in my upper right side just where my port has been placed (but deeper) and I knew immediately that I was having a little gall bladder attack. Now, I say little because I've had these attacks way way way worse than this little episode this morning. I have an early morning flight this morning, so I was awake at 5:30am... in some pain. So I got up, sipped on my Berocca and had a lovely hot shower. For some reason, the pain went away and I am able to get on my 4 hour flight today (the joys of travelling to Perth!).

One of the side effects of losing weight.. yes, there is a bad side effect, is that if you have stones in your gall bladder, for some bizarre reason, seem to want to come out through the tiny ducts that line that special little organ. The pain, for those of you who have been lucky enough not to experience it, is the worse motherfucking pain ever. I haven't experienced child birth (yet) so I don't know what that is like, but I've heard that this pain is heaps worse. You get this ache in your right side under your rib cage. This ache grows until the pain is so unbareable you start to vomit and rub your chest in the hopes that you can puncture your skin and rip the damn thing out yourself. Eventually the stone passes (or goes back into the gall bladder) which is what happened to me... and the pain goes away.. or it lodges in the duct and you have to go in for emergency surgery to remove the little fucker. I know this is what is going to happen to me. I have begged my lap band surgeon to remove my gall bladder during my lap band surgery... no deal. I can only have it out if it causes me continuous pain. So, I just sit patiently now and wait until I need to be hospitalised before I have it removed. I have massive family history of gall stones. Mum and Dad and my nanna all have had theirs removed due to stones. It's only a matter of time for me.. I have an appointment with my gorgeous lapband surgeon coming up in May and I will be talking to him about it again then...

My worst nightmare is to be attacked by my own organ when I'm not at home (i.e. travelling for work).

On another note, I have weighed in today at 89.7kg - very happy. My weight loss is slow, but my focus now is so much wider than just the number on the scales. I'm now able to jog on the treadmill for 15 minutes non-stop. This is such an amazing accomplishment for me, as I could never jog before. I've noticed especially my improvement on the treadmill, now walking at 6.0km/h is "easy" and I crank it up to 6.5km/h to "feel the burn". Whereas before, 6.0km/h for 20mins killed me - I can do 45 mins without breaking a sweat! My clothes are fitting so much better. My undies are so loose on me now I had to go out and buy some more, all size 16! I still think I'm alot bigger than I am, and so get pleasantly surprised when the 18's are baggy on me. I'm using clothes from my wardrobe that I couldn't fit into before and when I glance at myself in the mirror I do a double take because I just don't recognise myself anymore.

I'm sure you're asking why I don't post photos on my blog. Well, the decision to have a lapband for me was extremely private. Not many people know at all, and that includes my entire family! I figured for me, this was my last chance, and that if I failed at this, then there was no hope. I didn't want to have to deal with my family watching me eat, asking questions, critising me if I was eating something I shouldn't. I feel guilty every time I see my parents as they are just so pleased with my weight loss. Dad is so proud of me, he has paid for my gym membership. I want to tell them, and perhaps one day I will. But right now, it's about me.. and I've got to do this for myself. So that's why I don't post photos, because I want to remain anonymous. However, if you regular readers want to see photos of me, drop me an e-mail (lapbandgirl_aus@yahoo.com.au) and I'll send some before and after shots!

Have a good day! I hope to write again soon!

LBG xx