It's not a secret any more...

So first of all... YAY for my unfil. OMG I love my band surgeon. He is the loveliest guy on the face of this planet.. Took out 0.7mL and the difference is AMAZING. I drank a whole bottle of water on the way home... total 180 from this morning when I couldn't even drink more than half a cup of tea. YAY! Feeling sooooooooo much better already..

So, here is the story. My sister works at the Circle of Care in Baulkham hills where I got my surgery. She works in the clinical trials department and so technically doesn't really work with the lapbanding patients. Well, she found my clinic notes. So she knows...
I knew this was inevitable, since I introduced her to the clinic when I found out that they were looking for clinical research assistants, so I always knew that there was a good possibility that she would find out.. but it's finally happened. My wonderful surgeon is going to talk to my sister (being her boss he probably has some sort of influence!) about the issue of confidentiality..
I'll let you know if she ends up coming to me about it!!

Thanks everyone for your messages of support through my struggle. I have a feeling things will get better now. Even with more people knowing about the band, it might give me the freedom to eat the way I want to eat rather than trying to hide it.

*mwah*

LBG xx

Night Reflux

I had a crap night's sleep last night. I had to sleep propped up and kept on waking up choking on my own vomit... bleh. So I got around 3 hours sleep...

So unfil tomorrow... YAY! I don't think my band has slipped... but they will probably get me to have a barium swallow to check.

Check in with you all tomorrow!

LBG xx

Still pretty crap!

Heartburn is still going, it's continuous now... and I really can't eat much at all. Today I've had... let's see... 2 sips of a hot chocolate, half a cup of water, a small chai latte and swig of mylanta... I don't see anything solid there!
I've managed to get an appointment with the clinic on Friday 31st. So only 2.5 more days of this crap!

Hope all is well with everyone else :)

LBG xx

Heartburn and Struggles

Hi All,

Thanks for your comments! I've continued to struggle this week and now I'm waking up during the night with horrendous heartburn, so have booked a visit with the clinic for an unfill on Friday. I know it's becoming a problem when I can't even drink half a berocca and nurse an up and go in the morning for 2.5 hours! I'm only having one meal that is solid, but even then, it's a very slippery solid if you know what I mean:

BF - Up and go - usually that ends up in the toilet or drunk over 2-3 hours
L: half a cup of soup eaten over 30 mins (seriously, I can't eat anything else - not even half a sandwich or left overs etc)
AT: Chai latte or another hot drink - yesterday I didn't even finish half of it!
Dinner: Mini Quiche or 2 tbsp risotto or a can of baked beans or a cup of vege soup - eaten over 30-40 mins
Supper: A couple of biscuits or some chocolate or some ice cream (cos I know at least that's going to go down!!)

The problem is, is that I physically can't drink between meals, so I'm feeling so so dehydrated and to top it off, I'm now getting nightly bouts of heartburn where I'm waking up choking! Thank goodness for Mylanta!! I'm definitely not getting enough protein and there is absolutely NO fruit or vege in my diet at the moment.

This isn't what it was supposed to be like. I'm CRAVING salad and veges and fish and chicken... I look at menus and I just want a massive salad... My mouth is watering at the thought of a mixed green salad, with roasted pumpkin, pinenuts, feta and grilled chicken or smoked salmon... YUM!!

So it's off to the clinic for Friday... Im going to ask for some fill out.

Cast is still on, I get it off 10 days! Can't wait! Did a spin class last Saturday with my cast on. My arm did swell up a bit, but nothing too major, and felt great afterwards!

Hope you all have a lovely day! Thanks for reading.

LBG xx

Band Tightness

Fuck my band annoys me sometimes. I'm really struggling with food at the moment. I can't eat anything without adding something (like a sauce or mayo) to make it more "slippery" which is what I know I shouldn't be doing. I struggle with pureed fruits and yoghurt - it feels like it just sits there for what seems like forever. The pressure in my chest gets so uncomfortable. I've started having cup of soups for lunch because it's the only think I can eat "quickly" with my colleagues without raising eyebrows. When I go out for lunch I am literally limited to SOUP. If I can't order soup I make some excuse that I'm not hungry and just order coffee. I went out with my bestie for lunch yesterday - she had a lovely looking salad, and I had a cup of potato and leek soup. And even then a couple of times I thought I might of had to excuse myself to find a bathroom...

Yet my fill hasn't changed since January of this year! I'm going to talk to my fill doctor next month and ask if I should have some fill taken out or just leave it. I just feel like I'm missing out on all the good stuff.. all the healthy foods, salads, vege, proteins etc. And Im becoming more conscious of my diet now that I'm reading into conception and fertility. I am still taking Berocca performance every day, so I know my vit and min intake is well covered...

Im just a little jacked off with the whole thing. Not only can I not eat, I'm not losing weight on what I am eating!! (and I know it's because I get jack of trying to eat normal food that I go to icecream, chocolate and adding sauce to everything to try and get it down).

Rant Over.

LBG xx

TGIF!!

OMG what a week - horrendous! Ok so not that bad, I'm exaggerating slightly. Food wise I was as tight as a cats bum... when I say I can't eat, it really means that I am probably eating the correct portion sizes but fat me is thinking that Im not eating enough! I can eat around 1 cup of food at a time - perfect right? Mornings are still the worse time for me to eat. I just cant get much down at all. I was struggling with my Berocca this morning and sipping for a medium hot chocolate for 20 mins! I had half a bowl of soup and a cookie for lunch and some chocolate mid afternoon, thats it!

Oh yeah, and I've gone off the pill (in preparation for babies) and I know that my change in hormone levels would have something to do with it all. I must admit, I'm feeling alot less bloated since coming off the pill. Time will tell..

Nothing planned for this weekend. Just wondering what to have for take away friday night tonight. I'm thinking curry puffs, or some butter chicken and rice (a cup full, I can't eat more than that!).

Hope all is well in your world. promise to catch up with all of your blogs tomorrow!!

Love and Hugs

LBG xx

Still doing OK!!

I didn't realise that I'd posted Doing OK as my heading twice! Where is my head??!

Wrist is healing fine, got a fibreglass cast on Monday so able to exercise and swim!! WooHoo! Went to the gym monday night and went on the treadmill... felt GOOD!

Haven't been doing too well with foods recently. Have been SUPER tight. Have been HATING going out for meals (or even eating with friends/colleagues etc) as I just can't eat anything. People must think I'm so picky!

My aunties called mum once I got back from the UK concerned that I was an anorexic because I wasn't eating much while with them!! How terrible!

Anyhoo, things are well. nothing much to report... hope all is well in blogland!! Will catch up on blogs now.

Much love,

LBG xx

Doing OK!

Wrist is healing well, walking to and from the train station to work as I can't drive at the moment - so at least I'm getting some exercise. The walk home last weekend was lovely, I can't wait to do it again next saturday, hope the weather is nice.

Thanks for all your well wishes guys!

LBG xx

Doing OK!

Thanks for all your messages of support guys! Really means alot to me... I'm doing OK, feeling a little sorry for myself, but back at work and getting on with things. I'm busting to get some exercise in, so am thinking of going for a walk tomorrow morning... will take it real easy, but really want to get the blood flowing and just move!

LBG xx

I broked myself!

So I've got a broken wrist! How you might ask? I tripped and fell... landed on my wrist.. heard a crack.. simple as that! 6 weeks in a cast and possible surgery if the second x-ray shows a displacement. I'm in a splint at the moment - basically a plaster cast that hasn't been completely closed and wrapped with crepe bandage. Allows for any further swelling and can be taken off quickly if I get any further pain or swelling in my hand that cuts off blood circulation etc. What does that mean? 6 weeks no gym.. just walking once I get my fibre glass cast on next week.. and no boxing for up to 6 months!!! Devastated!!!

Postponed all my dr appointments and tests like the barium swallow until the cast comes off.. I can't drive to get to any of them.

Feeling the need for some serious comfort eating peoples!!

Keep you posted on any developments.. This one handed typing is so slow!!

Love LBG xx