It's not freaking moving!!!

I've been weighing myself obsessively (I know, norti norti) over the past couple of weeks because I've really got myself back into a zone with my eating and exercise. The Portion sizes are perfect, I finish eating after 20-30 minutes, I'm exercising every second day and going really hard, breaking a sweat, and I feel like the scales aren't budging. Like yesterday I was 91.7kg, and today I weighed 92.4kg... and on Saturday I was 92.1kg... I feel like I'm taking one step forward and then one step back..

I think back to when I didn't have this band, and my portion sizes were out of control... I was eating crap... yet I wasn't gaining alot of weight! I was hovering around 105-110kg... now that my food has been cut down to at least 1/3 of what I originally ate, and I'm doing just as much (if not more) exercise than before, you would expect the weight to be dropping off... This plateau is starting to fuck me off... and I don't know what to do to kick start the weight loss again.. I'm on 1200cals (give or take a couple of hundred cals)... which is pretty low..

Worse still, is that I've got my 1 year post op appointment with my surgeon in a week and a half and I was so hoping to be in the 80's by then. Yesterday I only had 1.8kg to lose before I was in the 80's... today it's now 2.5kg... My body just doesn't want to let go of the fat.. Also, since my last appointment visit I've actually PUT ON WEIGHT!! just over 1 kilo... I don't want to go back to the surgery and weigh in at the same or at a higher weight.. I don't want to disappoint them!! (or myself)

I was thinking that maybe I need another fill - but then I look at what I'm eating and how I am handling food and I have a great level of restriction. I know that my restriction is good at the moment, and I don't want to pay $$$ to have some fluid put in only to have my restriction be too tight.. and because I hide the fact that I have a lapband, I don't want it to be too obvious that I'm struggling with my food, especially at work and when I travel - not to mention around my family - who have no idea what's going on... At the moment I probably vomit maybe once or twice a week... if that... and I'm eating a good variety of Protein, fruits and veges but in small small quantities -for eg - half an apple or half a mango, or 2 tablespoons of veges or half a cup of salad will do me. I still struggle with rice, pasta, bread and potato... and try to avoid them if possible - I normally go for dry crackers if I'm going to have carbs..

I know I know, I need to stop weighing myself every day... I'm not ready to let go of that yet... but I know that's something I have to work on.. I think I also need to talk to my doctor about what's going on and see if there is anything he can suggest.

Thanks for listening to me vent!

LBG xx