Monday, January 21, 2008

It's not freaking moving!!!

I've been weighing myself obsessively (I know, norti norti) over the past couple of weeks because I've really got myself back into a zone with my eating and exercise. The Portion sizes are perfect, I finish eating after 20-30 minutes, I'm exercising every second day and going really hard, breaking a sweat, and I feel like the scales aren't budging. Like yesterday I was 91.7kg, and today I weighed 92.4kg... and on Saturday I was 92.1kg... I feel like I'm taking one step forward and then one step back..

I think back to when I didn't have this band, and my portion sizes were out of control... I was eating crap... yet I wasn't gaining alot of weight! I was hovering around 105-110kg... now that my food has been cut down to at least 1/3 of what I originally ate, and I'm doing just as much (if not more) exercise than before, you would expect the weight to be dropping off... This plateau is starting to fuck me off... and I don't know what to do to kick start the weight loss again.. I'm on 1200cals (give or take a couple of hundred cals)... which is pretty low..

Worse still, is that I've got my 1 year post op appointment with my surgeon in a week and a half and I was so hoping to be in the 80's by then. Yesterday I only had 1.8kg to lose before I was in the 80's... today it's now 2.5kg... My body just doesn't want to let go of the fat.. Also, since my last appointment visit I've actually PUT ON WEIGHT!! just over 1 kilo... I don't want to go back to the surgery and weigh in at the same or at a higher weight.. I don't want to disappoint them!! (or myself)

I was thinking that maybe I need another fill - but then I look at what I'm eating and how I am handling food and I have a great level of restriction. I know that my restriction is good at the moment, and I don't want to pay $$$ to have some fluid put in only to have my restriction be too tight.. and because I hide the fact that I have a lapband, I don't want it to be too obvious that I'm struggling with my food, especially at work and when I travel - not to mention around my family - who have no idea what's going on... At the moment I probably vomit maybe once or twice a week... if that... and I'm eating a good variety of Protein, fruits and veges but in small small quantities -for eg - half an apple or half a mango, or 2 tablespoons of veges or half a cup of salad will do me. I still struggle with rice, pasta, bread and potato... and try to avoid them if possible - I normally go for dry crackers if I'm going to have carbs..

I know I know, I need to stop weighing myself every day... I'm not ready to let go of that yet... but I know that's something I have to work on.. I think I also need to talk to my doctor about what's going on and see if there is anything he can suggest.

Thanks for listening to me vent!

LBG xx


mjwdec73 said...

Good luck getting it sorted out - it sounds so frustrating.

Thanks for stopping by my blog and the words of encouragement - they mean a lot.

brent said...

you're kidding me right? Of COURSE you should be weighing yourself every day - why wouldn't you??

You've got that great number to look at every time you do!!

Seriously - it's fine enough to have goals, but never for one second let yourself forget the huge victories you've already made when you think about victories you didn't quite make.

Every time you get on the scales and look at the number - if it's not the number you wanted it to be at least it's not the number you DON'T want it to be!!

Bunny said...

Hey sweet cheeks...
Dont worry. Its just what you said... a plateau. it will go down. at the end of the day if you are expending more than you are indgesting you are TOTALLY going to lose it. You body is probably just going WTF???? and thinking its in prison or something. You are an inspiration Erica, I am looking at the 1 year anniversay with all the shit that went on with my band, you are someone I look to to know I am doing it right. Honey pie, seriously dont stress... bit like a "stop trying and you'll have a baby" thing. Stop weighing and you will lose the weight. I am sure our minds can control scales :o) - no seriously, dont worry. You have acheived so much, and in such a short time. You are totally doign the right things.