Biting the bullet...

I'm going back for another fill. I've plateaued since my last doctors appointment and I can't take it anymore! It's so weird, cos some days I'm tight as and can hardly get anything down, and some days I can eat quite a bit and it will hardly touch the sides. It's really frustrating. So, I booked in for another fill next Monday.

Other than that, everything is going OK. Have been PB'ing once every second day or so... normally cos I eat too fast and don't chew properly...Hopefully this fill will give me a bit of a boost for my weight lost because it's starting to be a bit depressing that I've undergone major surgery for weight loss and I'm not losing any weight...

LBG xx

No, not the steak!!

Tonight I went round to Mum and Dad's for dinner. I love it cos I miss mum's cooking. They don't know about the band, and have told them that I am furiously losing weight for the wedding, so please only serve me food on a bread and butter plate. Mum asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. "What are we having?" I ask... She replies: "Steak..". I start to feel this sick nauseated feeling in my stomach. I haven't attempted steak since I had my band (hence the reason why I'm boarderline anaemic!). She brought out the steak from the fridge. I had my fingers silently crossed that this steak would be small minute steak that I could attempt to get down... No, these were the biggest mother-fucking chunks of meat I had ever seen in my life. It looked as though each peice was the side of a cow. It would have been at least an inch deep and probably about 20 cm in length. I seriously did not know how I was going to be able to eat a third of that, let alone the whole thing. Thank god Mum asked me if I wanted to share a piece with her... I said yes.

Now, I love my meat... but I have come to the sad realisation that I will never be able to enjoy a nice barbequed piece of steak ever again... and I'm OK with that, really I am. This meat was cooked to perfection, with a nice thin edge of fat that gave it it's juicy goodness... I looked at my plate like I was mourning the death of an old friend. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to get two bites down, let alone the rest of the stuff on the plate (coleslaw, potato bake and salsa). Dad (or as we call him, the BBQ beef master) was very proud of his efforts to cook my steak to my liking (Medium) and was totally devastated when I left more than 3/4 of it! He kept on asking me why I wasn't eating it and if I liked it. I felt so bad, you could see the look of complete sadness from my Dad that I wasn't enjoying this hunk of cow... so I avoided eye contact with him for the whole meal, but I could tell he was watching me.



Didn't get the whole meal down, and I knew I wouldn't. I felt the familiar tightness in my chest and knew I had to excuse myself somehow. Now, a rule in our family is that you never get up to go to the toilet during a meal. I was up shit creek without a fucking paddle and the urgent need to relieve myself of the big chunk of cow that was lodged in my poor little stomach! I made up some pathetic excuse that I had something in my eye... that seemed to work.. So I made a quick exit to the bathroom to puke, came back and played with my food for the rest of the dinner.



My steak eating days are well and truely over!!! No word of a lie, this was the size of the piece of meat I had to attempt to eat tonight...

AWOL... not much to report

Nothing has been happening... absolutely nothing. I'm living with the band, it's getting easier every day, and there are days when I still slip up and have to visit to loo to relieve myself, but everything is fine and dandy.

I must admit, I have been stable with my weight since my last post. I think with winter and my back injury I've found it a little difficult to find the motivation to exercise in the cold... and warming comforting foods are... well.. they're warm and comforting.. and I'm eating them, and they're going down really easy - soups, casseroles and the like... things with sauces in them, where the meat is so tender it just melts in your mouth and thus slips through the band easily. Now you may be thinking, she needs a fill then. No, I don't... I've got good restriction.. and when I eat the right foods - wholegrains, veges, lean meats and fruit I get full on small portions, but I have to admit, I haven't felt like fruit salads and grilled chicken lately... I know which foods keep me full and I know which ones slip through the band... and I'm just choosing the latter more often than the former. It will get easier once we slip into the warmer weather...

Hope all is well with your band :)

LBG xx

Doctors Appointment Today!

Today I went to see my lapband surgeon for a check-up. The last time I saw him was 2 months ago. I was 103kg. Today I was 97.4kg on his scales... so that was a loss of 5.6kg in 2 months. Totally happy with that, and so was my surgeon. He wants to see me in 2 months to have my bloods done and another weight check. My cholesterol and BP is normal, my triglyceride levels were a little high and my iron levels a little low. I gave him a copy of my food diary, which he looked through and we discussed. He is really happy with my progress. I told him that I'll be in the 80's the next time I see him on September 10th! So I've really got to step it up now... 7.5kg in 2 months... that's 1.9kg more than the last 2 months!



Bring on the challenge!



He also did my measurements. I've lost 15cm off my waist and 7cm off my hips since the surgery. My surgeon said that because I was starting to get some loose skin now that it was more difficult to measure my waist properly but he was still happy with my progress.

I love my band :)



LBG xx

I got to 10% weight loss today at 97.7kg!! WooHoo! I was getting a little frustrated cos the scales weren't moving for a good few weeks and was wondering what was going on.

To be honest, I'm really happy with my level of restriction. It is definitely there and I know that when I push the boundries, my friend doesn't let me push them too far. I just need to make the right food choices. Anything that Melts or Dissolves will slip through the band... end of story. You don't see salad, vegetables and meat melting do you?? I know I'm not drinking enough water either.. but that's a whole other story. I've heard too many stories about stretching the band because people drank water too soon after they ate which meant that the water stretched the little tummy pouch. Since I eat every 2 hours, that doesn't give me alot of time inbetween to drink... and since I feel full most of the time, I'm not sure when a good time to drink is! I usually drink the most in the morning when I know the tummy pouch is empty and just before bed to flush it out.

Anyhoo, I am totally over the moon about my weight loss this morning... :) Once I hit 96kg I'll be down 20kg since my heaviest weight, then under 95kg (closer to 90 than to 100!) and then 93.6kg will see me as 15kg lost since the banding. Slowly but surely. 500g/week weight loss, I'm happy!

LBG xx

Another fill required?

I think I need another fill - I've been watching the portions creep up ever so slowly. The other night I ate about a cup of pasta plus spag bol sauce. The first few mouthfuls got stuck (I was hungry and didn't chew properly) so they came up, but after that I was able to eat the rest of the bowl. Last night we had left over spag bol, so I decided to have 1/2 cup pasta and some spag bol sauce, but that only took me about 15 mins to eat and then I was still hungry... so I had a lite apple pie with some lite ice cream which went down a treat... I'm seeing my band doctor on the 18th so I'll chat with him then... but for now, cos I'm not exercising as much I'm really having to watch what I eat..



Does anyone else have that problem, when the first few mouthfuls of dinner get stuck, once they clear (either go through the band or get brought up) then you find you can eat more?



Just curious...



LBG xx

Mikey Robins on Australian Story

I just watched the Australian Story about Mikey Robins, an Aussie comedian who, through the help of laproscopic lap banding, went from nearly 150kg to around 85kg... WOW! His story was really amazing and I related alot to him. He was honest and emotional. The good thing about the interview is that they didn't go on about the surgery too much, but more about his journey from being morbidly obese with all the associated problems that go with it, to the slim man that he is today with boundless amounts of energy. I was afraid that going into the detail about the surgery and what he can and can't eat now might of opened a can of worms and placed yet another negative connotation connected with weight loss surgery. They showed a couple of scenes of a surgery in progress and a snippet of Mikey discussing his progress with his weight loss surgeon, but it didn't focus on the surgery (the pros and the cons). I hope that this interview inspires more people to consider weight loss surgery.

http://www.abc.net.au/austory/

Where did that kg go?

Scale check and I'm at 98.3kg as of Saturday. Go me! I swiftly lost that kg I gained the week before that. I've realised that I have a doctors check up next month and would like to be at 95kg for the occasion.. 3.3kg to go..

Not much else to report. I'm really happy with my restriction at the moment. I've found a good balance between what I can and can't eat and am full with fairly small amounts of food without being so restricted that I limit my variety of foods. That's the point right? I think I could probably go for another 0.2ml to make it an even 9mL... but will talk to the doc when I see him next month.

Ok, all from me for now.

LBG xx

Oops! I had a gain..

I have to give back my 10kg lost badge for now as I managed to gain 900g this week. Oops! Not to worry, I'm hoping to lose the 600g in no time to get me back to 10kg lost.. I totally deserved the gain this week. I ate crap, didn't count my calories and didn't exercise... I knew I would gain. So I'm back up to 99.2kg. Still, I'm under 100kg which is good, and I don't plan on going back there ever again..

Thanks to everyone who left a comment on my last post. I'm glad my little soap box rant about counting calories made sense. Cos, even though we've had weight loss surgery, it's not going to lose the weight for us. It will be our friend and make sure we don't over eat, but it won't tell us what we should and shouldn't put in our mouths... that's still our decision. I've also found that the healthier foods tend to make me feel fuller anyway. I PB'd on a pear yesterday.. it was gross.. but was FULL for like 3 hours afterwards. A large pear has the same calories as a 25g bag of chips. I can eat 4 of them in one sitting (believe me, I proved that last week.. ).. and still wasn't full. So not only did I eat 4 times as many calories as the pear, I was still hungry enough to eat more.

Ok, enough ranting from me. Enjoy your day!

LBG xx

Oh yeah, forgot to mention... I have photo's of my band.. yep, of my insides. I'm going to scan the photo in and post it up for you all to see. WooHoo!

Your brain isn't banded!

I've noticed alot of comments about how people with a lap band can stop losing weight (or even gain weight) because they find "ways' of getting certain foods through the band. This happened to me... and it was extremely frustrating. To go through something as extreme as weight loss surgery and STILL not lose weight was very discouraging. But I realised something... I realised that my brain isn't banded, and that my band is only a tool to help me lose weight. I read this countless times as I was doing my research, but never really understood what it meant. I always thought deep down that the band would be the answer and that I would never have to worry about dieting again, cos the band would do all the work. WRONG. A couple of things I found were:
1. If I really wanted to eat all of something, I would... it would just take me a little longer
2. Junk food goes down easy... it's the easiest thing to eat. It was easy to eat before, and it is easy to eat now.
3. My band LOVES healthy foods... small amounts make me feel full.
4. My brain is not banded. I still get the same head hunger I did before the band..

So, even though I've had weight loss surgery... I am COUNTING CALORIES. Yep that's right... I am keeping track of everything I am eating... and you know what? it's working. Having the band makes it sooooooooo much easier to stop eating, but by counting calories I am still in control of everything I eat. Since I started counting calories, I have lost the majority of my weight (6kg since april)... that's more weight lost than the first 3 months having the band... So for all of you out there frustrated because you've had surgery and aren't losing wieght... don't rely on that fill to top you up and possibly limit your variety of foods you can eat... try old fashioned dieting... your band will love it!

LBG xx