Realization..

I have been banded for 1.5 years!!! Holy Moly! I was reading Bridget's blog on being banded for 6 months and I started to think about the fact that I had been banded for 1.5 years.

I really don't know what I expected I would be like in 1.5 years. Did I expect to be at my goal weight by then? Hell no!! I still don't think I'll ever get to my goal weight.. it's so far out there in the relms of my imagination right now... it's slowly becoming a little more realistic but I know I've got a ways to go yet.. and I'm kinda enjoying the ride.

What else has changed? My appreciation for good quality food. Gone are the days where I'll just have a big bowl of pesto pasta, heaped with cheese and butter for dinner.. I crave small portions of delicious fresh food - gorgeous fish and other seafoods, well cooked veges, salads with tangy home made dressings, gourmet cheeses, dips and anti pastos (not corn chips and salsa if you know what I mean!!). Having McDonalds last week really affirmed the fact that I really do look at food a different way now.. I would have preferred a salmon or tuna sushi roll or some gorgeous fresh sashimi with some wasabi and soy sauce than a big mac and fries.. that still blows me away.

Another thing which I love that has changed about me is my energy levels. I may still be 15kg over weight, but damn it, I'm super fit right now. It doesn't bother me that I do two exercise session in 1 day, where as before, 30 mins would poop me out! Like today, for example, I'm going to hit the gym at lunch time for some cardio action, then I'm looking forward to doing an hour long walk with my husband this evening (the weather in Sydney today is supposed to be devine!). Yes peoples, I am LOOKING FORWARD to it!! I LOVE getting hot and sweaty. I LOVE feeling that burning sensation in my thighs and butt when I go to spin classes. I LOVE getting into this amazing zone when I jog. I LOVE the fact that I can JOG! hehe

What else? hrmmmmm... I love looking at myself in the mirror. Especially my face and shoulders. I have features.. not fat cheeks and double chin, but collar bones! I love looking at old photos of me now, because I know that I have changed so much. I've started to wish that I had taken more photos of me when I was fatter!!! *lol* My body is changing, I'm getting saggier, and I accept this. There are some great knickers that you can wear that sucks everything in so you look flat. I've got a couple of pairs of these and wear them when I go out for special occasions. But I think I need to start wearing them more often, they make me feel good. Husband calls them my granny knickers, but once you put clothes over them.... totally different!

Another thing I've noticed is that I don't hold back as much... I really do live life to the fullest.... like trying scuba diving for the first time. Fat me wouldn't have dreamed of getting into a wet suit (because I wouldn't have been able to fit it!!) and then get in the water.. but now I know I can pretty much do anything. When I do stuff, people don't look at me with the pity they used to. I used to hear them thinking "Poor fat girl, look at her trying so hard... well at least she's trying". Those voices have definitely stopped!

I've got a ways to go yet. But I know this isn't going to be a short term thing. This is for life. This band is for life, this way of eating is for life. Having the fill out has made me realise just how much I depended on my little silicone friend to stop me from overeating! Now that I can eat more (although I'm still way down on pre-banding amounts), I've noticed the old habits creeping back in. I'm definitely looking forward to getting that fill put back in!! October 22nd is over 5 weeks away!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!

Thanks to all for reading for the past 1.5 years!!! You guys help me so much with your comments and suggestions.

Much Love xxx

Still some restriction!! YAY!

Yesterday, after writing about how I was going to eat well and blah blah blah, I had McDonalds for lunch... I haven't had Maccas in probably over a year!! I got a McChicken and a small fries and a diet coke. I only ate 1/2 of the fries and maybe 1/3 of the burger. Man, I was real full! It was great! But you know what else? I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I was going to. I have to admit, I was slightly disappointed, and kinda wished I'd had a salmon sushi roll instead as it would have been so much tastier! I won't be getting Maccas any time soon I can tell you! Amazing how your taste buds change eh?

Last night for dinner I thought I'd give pasta a go. I made a delish onion, capsicum and spinach sauce to go with the spinach and ricotta tortellini. I made myself a small bowl (bandit size), a couple of mouthfuls later I was in the bathroom puking it up! My band still doesn't like pasta.

There is definitely restriction there!

I'm going to have some yoghurt and strawberries for breakky now.

Have a wonderful Friday!

LBG xx

I'm such a guts!!

I can't believe how much I have been eating since I had that fill taken out. Granted, I can still feel some restriction, it's nowhere near as much as before! Yesterday I got home from work, got out the camembert and rice crackers (bad move!), and before I knew it, half the cheese and two rows of the crackers was gone!! 2 hours later I was having curry and rice at a local nepalese resteraunt. It is nice to go out for a meal knowing that you don't have to position where you sit so you can make a quick and some what subtle exit to the bathroom, or your choice of resterant is determined by whether or not they have soup on the menu, or when you get your meal and you start to hyperventilate because you realise you can only eat 2 mouthfuls and your dining partners are going to wonder why you're not eating!! That's why I like going to places where you share food - we shared a whole heap of curry and rice last night, then there is tapas and thai where you just pick off the plates. No-one else is really watching what you are eating because they're too busy trying to feed their own faces!! But when you've ordered your own meal and everyone else has cleaned their plates and you're trying to hide food under your napkin...

I digress, I figured that if I'm going to be able to eat more (and enjoy the fact that I can eat more) then I was going to have to put some safe guards in place to ensure that I don't put on any weight.

1. I must go to the gym (or do some form of exercise) 5 days per week (4 at the minimum). I have a polar F11 heart monitor which tracks my calories, session numbers, time spent exercising etc. If I make my target each week I get a trophy as my wall paper. if I don't make the target, the wall paper goes back to a swirl and it takes a whole week to try and get that trophy back again.
2. I will drink more water! Something I haven't been doing since my unfill. I have been drinking more coffee though ( I can't seem to function without a good coffee in the morning these days!!). I have a water bottle at my desk at work, and I will aim to drink two of these per day.
3. The food that I do eat will be quality foods (not rice crackers and cheese!!). So things like Fruit (I've got strawberries and madarins for lunch today, YUM) and vegetables will grace my plate every day. I will make an effort to eat well, fuel my body and enjoy it!
4. I will track what I eat on Calorie King so that I am accountable.

OK, that's all from me today. I'm off to fill my water bottle!

LBG xx

Dealing with the hunger!!

I'm not used to being hungry... I mean that gnawing hunger that doesn't allow you to concentrate on anything else until it is satisfied.. and I don't like it! Yesterday I had a coffee and tea in the morning (still some restriction so don't feel like eating), then I had a cup a soup with noodles for morning tea (160 cals), then I had a cup a soup and 2 crumpets with marg for lunch (350 cals), then for afternoon tea I had an apple puree, a mandarin and some vita wheat snacks (200 cal), then I went to the gym and did a spin class (600cals burnt), and then had left over beef stroganoff, mashed potatos, some green beans and steamed cauliflower for dinner. The plate I served my dinner on was still a bread and butter plate, but it was practically spilling over the side. I've realised that my food intake yesterday was quite "soft and sloppy", ie, I should be having more solid foods to make me fuller! So today I'm having vita wheats with ham, cheese, tomato, baby spinach, strawberries, yoghurt. And for dinner tonight I'm making individual Lasagne with Salad. YUM!

I should also mention that this morning I felt like a danish, but instead I went to Woolies and picked up a yoghurt to have with my strawberries instead! That took a massive amount of will power because I was starving from my spin class this morning and knew that I was going to be able to eat it! Having more restriction meant that I used to walk past Baker's Delight and not even bat an eyelid... now I have to find another way to walk so that I avoid this devil bakery at all costs!!!

Have an awesome day!

LBG xx

Yum Cha = deliciousness

Diz asked what Yum Cha is... why are you asking this question? How can you not know what Yum Cha is?!?!?!

I have taken the liberty of googling Yum Cha and you can find the answer here. My fave dish is prawn wrapped in rice noodles with soy sauce... and this time I could eat it!!! Actually, I could eat all 3 portions of them.. and the prawns went down easy.. but I was still amazingly full afterwards (still some restriction there!!)

All I can say... Yum Cha = Deliciousness!

Happy Monday!

Ok not really... since when are Monday's anything but suicidal... struggled to get out of bed this morning... too scared to weigh myself today... kind of ignoring the scales at the moment!!! The weekend goes way too quickly, one minute you're doing your saturday morning spin class and the next you're making lunch for work on Sunday night... *sigh*

MJW asked a question which I thought was interesting: Do you sit at the hairdresser looking at the person in the mirror wondering who they are, or have you moved on from that?

Actually, it doesn't have to be at the hairdresser, it's pretty much every time I get in front of a mirror. I'll be cleansing my face and look up after patting it dry and look at myself. Or I'll be walking past a shop front and catch a glimpse of my reflection and not recognise that it is me for a split second... it's a lovely feeling!

Eating this weekend has been mixed. I've started the day off soooooo healthy - half bran muffins after my Gym session... then it went down hill and on Saturday evening I finished off a whole packet of Maltesers (100g!!!) *eek*. I did redeem myself a little by having a chicken wrap with heaps of salad which I only ate a little bit of. Sunday was a vege omlette (yum), then Yum Cha for lunch for fathers day (can't say that was too healthy!!) and then off to the movies where I had a small frozen coke, pop corn and some jelly snakes. Dinner was a small plate of beef stroganoff, 2 tbls rice and some steamed veges.. Loving the fact that I can eat again (and I must say, so are my bowels!!), but not loving the fact that I'm getting hungrier sooner and can eat more. So this week I'm going to be tracking everything I eat on calorie king and get into the exercise this week. Plans for Exercise are as follows:

Monday 8/9 - Spin Class 5:45pm
Tuesday 9/9 - Spin Class 6:15am
Wednesday 10/9 - Lunch Time Cardio
Thursday 11/9 - Spin Class 6:15am
Friday 12/9 - Lunch Time Cardio
Saturday 13/9 - Core 7:45am, Spin 8:30am
Sunday 14/9 - Rest

Have a good week!

LBG xx

New Do and Subway

I got my hair cut last night. I was going for something a little shorter, a little more edgy and something that suited my face (that seems to have gone from round to oval since my weight loss). Well I came out feeling cute, sophisticated and stylish! Loving my new do! Husband thinks it makes me look older... I think it makes me look sophisticated and professional.

Anyhoo... the eating front has been so much fun over the past couple of days. Yesterday I had subway for lunch. I got a wrap with turkey, ham, cheese and loads of salad... took me around 1 hour to eat, but DAMN it was so freaking tasty! Then for dinner I had a small bowl of Beef with vege and rice noodles. Even though I've had heaps of fill out, I can still feel some restriction, which is awesome.

On the exercise front, I was at the gym before my hair appointment. I jogged on the T-mill for 16 minutes. The bra I was wearing really wasn't suitable, so I was feeling a bit self conscious. Burnt 550Kcal and exercised for 45 mins. I'm off to the gym again tonight for another similar work out, and then tomorrow morning I'll do Core and Spin Classes. 5 times this week, which is great.

Scales showed me at 85.8kg. Not entirely happy with this, but I really do think I was quite dehydrated. I've eaten a load of carbs over the past few days, which attracts a bit of water as well... I'm just going to keep up with the exercise and hopefully that will minimise any damage!!

MYF - have a great time on your holiday! Can't wait to see piccies!!!

Much love xxx

LBG xx

The Quad Burger

Have you guys seen the new Hungry Jacks Quad Burger that has just been released? It contains 4 beef patties, 4 slices of cheese, BBQ sauce, 2 rashers of bacon on sugared buns. Where is the salad, you may ask. Well there is none. Now I'm a big big fan of the whopper, because of the fact that the salad is REAL - real chunks of tomato, onion and lettuce, not like the shrivelled variety that graces the burgers of Macdonalds. But I am dissapointed by this latest creation. The calorie intake of this monstrosity equates to half a females average daily energy requirement, not to mention the 70g of fat! At over 1000kcal, eating this burger would be all I would be allowed to eat all day, and I wouldn't be getting any nutrition. Funnily enough, this buger has been selling in the US since 2006!!!! The first time I saw this burger on TV, I must admit, I did salivate at the thought of biting into the soft bun, feeling the meat juice flow onto my tongue, chew slowly through the layers of meat and cheese and taste the tang of the BBQ sauce. But the more I look at it, the sicker I feel. I would much prefer a wrap with crunchy salad and meat, with maybe some fetta, low fat bacon, low fat beef patty, loads of salad stuff like lettuce, tomato, spanish onions, capsicum, cucumber with a delish dressing of some sort... DELISH!!! Give me subway anyway over that poor excuse for a burger!!

What amuses me the most about this Quad burger (or Stacker Burger as it's known in the US)... is that there is actually a Wikipedia page for this thing!!! Hilarious!

Anyhoo, on the lap band front. My hunger has returned, but not as much as I thought it would. I'm able to drink properly now so have been enjoying Berocca in the morning as well as tea (I love tea!). I ate some baked beans at lunch yesterday (you know, the mini cans) and I was able to eat it slowly over 20 mins and I was filled to the brim. Best thing was that I still felt the restriction a little. I have been drinking a whole lot more since the unfil, and I've put on a bit of fluid weight (which is totally fine cos I knew I was really dehydrated). Yesterday for dinner I had half a baked potato and a chicken cordon bleu. Took me ages to eat, but felt very comfortable and felt restricted and full after the meal.

I went for a run/walk this morning. I jogged/walked 10 laps around the oval near my home. Burnt 550cal and exercised for 40 mins. Did some squats and lunges before heading home. Feel good! Tomorrow I'm going to do a 6:15spin class.

That's all from me today. Have a good one!

LBG xx

I will NOT go backwards!

I've worked too damn hard to get down to this weight to see it go back up again!! Next appointment is October 22nd, and I know I'm going to need some fill put in. Even this morning I've got some massive funky tummy rumbles going on, which feel rather foreign to me!! I know I could probably go and have a cheese and ham scroll from Bakers delight right now without any problems, but I've got to keep on top of my food intake if I don't want to see those scales go up!!

It was so bizarre, last night I was thinking (and salivating) about what food I'd be able to eat now... Fried Rice, Stir Fry, Chunky Salads, Meat, Thai food.... and guess what... most of it was healthy! *lol* Macdonalds did cross my mind a few times. I've been craving eating a burger or a kebab or something really fulfilling recently, and then when I eat the craving goes away!! I think while I'm less restricted I'm actually going to have a kebab (which is probably better than a burger!!) and really really really enjoy it! Oh, and SUBWAY... I'm craving a 6 inch with chicken, loads of salad and ranch dressing... YUM!

Another thing I told myself I would do is start up the exercise again. So this morning I was back at the gym at the 6:15am spin class. OMG, I almost passed out / threw up, but damn I feel awesome right now. Husband and I are going to start going for evening walks as well, cos it's getting lighter in the evening now.

Feels so good to be able to drink without the pressure I was getting in my chest. I guzzled a 600mL bottle of water at the gym this morning with no problems.

Anyhoo, hope everyone has a fab day!

LBG xx

3.5ml OUT!

So last night I made a delish vege soup for dinner.... did I get to eat any of it? Well yes, but then it all came back up again... and again.. and 5 times later I thought stuff this, and I didn't eat any more. Soup peoples! I was vomiting on SOUP! I was extremely sore in my chest during the night and it was even difficult to get water down. So today I rang up my gorgeous surgeon and got an emergency appointment with him to get some fill taken out. He said that by the sounds of it I'd set up an inflammatory process that had proceeded to make the stomach around the band extremely swollen. He took 3.5mL out (which is alot for a bandster!) and as soon as I had my first sip of water, I felt nothing.... that is... INSTANT RELIEF!!! I'm on opti-yuk/fluids for a couple of days to settle my stomach. For lunch I had cup a soup... and it went down a treat, in 15-20 mins. I've had some diet lemonade and a cup of coffee and some water and I feel sooooooooo much better already.

Now the challenge is, how am I going to cope with having less restriction!?!?!

Oh yeah, I also weighed myself at the doctors surgery.... and I was 83.6kg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOTALLY STOKED! It almost made the fact that I couldn't eat anything worth it!!! *lol* Just kidding!!

Really want to count that weigh in, but I think I'll stick to my own scales which read 84.1kg this morning (which is still pretty excellent!).

Now the challenge really begins! I'm going to up the exercise and keep a close eye on what I am eating... but at least I know I can eat again!!!

Much Love..

LBG xx