Restriction Dilemma

Had a fabulous time in Thailand! My eating habits were under constant scrutiny it seemed as my sisters were always asking how come I wasn't eating much. I had a couple of great excuses:
1. It's too hot to eat... always a good one
2. I'm still full from
3. Pretend to snack during the day, always good because there were plenty of snack foods about
4. Soups/Curries were always on the menu and easier to eat than other foods..

I'm back now and I have a restriction dilemma. On one hand my restriction is really limited, and I'm having trouble eating things that I really shouldn't be.. like thick soup, mashed potato, even water/cordial is taking AGES to go through. I'm PB'ing virtually every day, and I KNOW that it's not good for me. I'm worried that my band might slip or something worse like erosion which I know can happen with constant vomiting. On the other hand, I'm experiencing weight loss... always a good thing.. was 85.2kg on the scales this morning! My head is telling me that I need to get some fill removed ASAP, and I think that's what I need to do. Although, my head is also saying that if I just try eating slower, chewing more then I should be OK!! But when I have pressure with drinking fluids I know something's not exactly right. I have an appointment September 10th with my surgeon. I will ask him for some fill to be taken out. Until then I've got to be super careful with my food intake.

OK, that's all from me for now.

LBG xx

1 more sleep!

I am totally excited about Thailand tomorrow. YAY! I'm flying star class, kinda like jet star's version of buisness class.. should be interesting. And all on my frequent flyer points! Thanks work :)

I'm in Adelaide at the moment for work. Just a day trip. Arrived at 10am... now at the airport at 2:45pm waiting for the 4:30 flight home. I realised last night that I didn't have any swimmers that fit me, so Husband and I are going late night shopping tonight when I get back into sydney for a new pair. I saw this really nice pair in RipCurl here in Adelaide... size 16. For a fleeting moment I didn't think I could fit them.. but then I remember that yes, I am actually a size 16.. It's a nice thought! Now, on to Size 14 eh?

Band wise, everything is going alright.. not good, just alright. I tried to eat a chicken enchilada last night.. No deal. So I went to bed with a fun sized snickers and a splice ice cream in my stomach. I did have a lovely soup for lunch and yoghurt, so I don't feel deprived or malnourished.. I've had coffee and juice for breakfast, some cheese and crackers for lunch - sitting nicely in my tummy and I'm really full. I'll probably have soup for dinner again, or if I'm feeling adventurous, I might have a baked potato, and just eat the insides with avocado and sour cream..

I've got an appointment with my surgeon in September, so I'm definitely going to talk to him about my extra tightness and see what he thinks. It could be the extra stress I'm carrying around at the moment. Hopefully this holiday to Thailand will help.

The only thing that is concerning me at the moment is that I'm going to Thailand with people who don't know I've got the band placed! My family. And they LOVE their food. And they're going to find it VERY strange that I don't partake in our normal family chow downs.. especially when it comes to Thai food. Now, my family adore Thai food. Whenever I go out to dinner with my family, it's always the same thai restaraunt.. which I LOVE. The good thing is, is that we normally share dishes, and everyone is so wrapped up in what their eating that they don't really notice how much I'm not eating!! Still... It is going to be interesting how I handle it!

OK peoples, well I'm off for a week. I don't know if I'll post when I'm away. Probably not. I'll be too busy enjoying the sun! :)

Take care all!

LBG xx

Sticking to liquids/mushies

I'm sticking to mostly liquids at the moment due to my horrendous band tightness at the moment. It definitely seems to be working and I'm finding that I don't have this chest tightness/heaviness. I've been drinking a white chocolate Jarrah this morning and it's been going down without too many problems. Over the past week in the morning I've barely been able to get down half a cup of tea in the mornings!!

Weighed in this morning at 85.9kg before doing a number 2!!! Don't think I'll get to the magical 85kg for my trip to Thailand on Friday, but I do love seeing the 85 on the scales these days! I figure I'm losing at the rate of around 1kg / month at the moment. While that's not very fast, with the exercise I am doing at the moment my body shape is definitely changing. I've noticed recently that my calves are alot more toned and when I flex/point my toes I can see the muscles moving about. I've also noticed that my skin on my tummy is getting alot looser and is starting to wrinkle a bit!!

So today I've got home made potato and zucchini soup for lunch, yoghurt for morning tea and a cup a soup for afternoon tea. I'm also planning to hit the gym for a lunchtime session.

2 more sleeps until Thailand!!

LBG xx

Test Results!

As Promised here are my test results:

Chloesterol - 4.55mmol/L - (Normal < 5.5mmol/L)
Iron - 13.2g/dl - (Normal 12-16g/dl)
BP - 134/75 - (Normal <140/90)
Pulse Rate - 67bpm - (Normal 60-100bpm)
Glucose (BGL) - 5.1mmol/L - (Normal 3.60 - 8.00mmol/L)

Everything is NORMAL! I am doing everything I possibly can to be as healthy as I can... and my insides prove it!! :)

Do you know your BGL??

LBG xx

Still very very tight!

I am really struggling with food these days. I'm even thinking about getting some fill taken out because I truely cannot eat. I've been PB'ing every day on things that I really should be able to get down - like mushed up egg, avocado, mince, sour cream. I had a coffee at 9am this morning.. I am still so full and I feel like there is someone sitting on my chest at the moment. I've been tempted to try and PB to get some relief, but I know that if I do, my stomach will get swollen and my band will be even tighter. So I've decided to go on liquids for the next couple of days to see if the band loosens up a bit.

To tell you the honest truth, part of me is loving the fact that I can't eat and therefore the weight is coming off... not quickly though. And I know that this is the wrong way to lose weight.. but it kinda does take pressure off me to choose the right foods and to eat properly - cos I can't really eat a damn thing!!! I am, however, very conscious of the types of food I am consuming, and am making sure that I am having protein first and then veges and fruit. I must admit, I do miss eating, and get sad when I know I can't have what I love to eat.. but that's what got me fat in the first place right?!?! And it's funny, because that Sad feeling only really is fleeting and I forget about it after a while. Not like before the band where there would be this gnawing inside you to eat and wouldn't go away until you had eaten. I can't remember the last time my stomach actually grumbled! Can you believe it?!?!

Did a wicked spin class this morning. I was totally in the zone and managed to burn almost 700cals in 45 mins! It did help that I had one of my favourite gym instructors cycling right next to me during the entire class... I couldn't go slow while she was right next to me, so I was going hell for leather the entire class... *phew*!!

I've got soup for lunch and a yoghurt drink for afternoon tea. Then cup a soup for dinner (while the rest of the family have chicken encheladas which I have to make them!! *pout*

Have a great day!

LBG xx

P.S I'm going to get my cholesterol / BP / BGL checked today... I'll post the results up. I'm excited ! I think they're going to be OK!!! :)

Tough weekend..

Friday was my mother-in-laws funeral. It was a lovely service, she would have absolutely loved it. Beautiful things were said about her and there was a good crowd there for support. It was then back to my parent's place for the wake... I was there all morning preparing sandwiches. With all this happening, I have been as tight as a cat's bum, maybe eating one meal a day and sticking mostly to liquids in the morning. I hardly ate anything on the Friday (except for a couple of chocolate biscuits cos they seem to go down so easy!) and so on Saturday the scales were exceptionally kind to me:

A great psychological achievement for me to see "85" on the scales as I feel like I'm nearly Halfway throught the 80's. It also means that I am now only 5.8kg away from being in the 70's!!!

Exercise this week was great considering I had relatives stay and the funeral on Friday:

Monday: Step Class

Tuesday: Spin Class and Abs Butts Thighs Class

Saturday: Spin Class

This week:

Monday: 6am Pump Class

Tuesday: 6:15am Spin Class

Wednesday: Cardio (Lunch)

Thursday: Travelling to Adelaide

Friday: 6am Cardio

Have a great week!

LBG xx

Step Class Madness

I've taken the day off work today to just get over the happenings of the weekend. It's been a pretty full on last week.. cumulating in MIL's death yesterday and the emotions that went along with it. I just need some time out and couldn't deal with work today... tomorrow is a different story though!

This morning I decided that I needed to exercise... I had this craving to move my body, get my pulse rate soaring and to sweat. There is a body step class on Monday's at 9:30am, so I went to that.. I'm uncoordinated at the best of times, so step is a bit of a challenge. Love love loved it! Burnt over 800 cals, HR got up to over 170bpm and average HR was at 151bpm. It got my mind off what's going on at home and had a great time. I only wish they have body step classes after work or on the weekends so that I can go to some more!

Scales are at 86.8kg, not surprising considering that I've barely eated over the last couple of days. Actually, I'm due for TTOM this week, and so I should also be retaining a little fluid as well until the end of the week, so I could see a good result on the scales come the end of the week. It also means that I have finally cracked my next goal of 20% of my body weight lost since I got my band! Go ME!!!

Anyhoo, that's enough from me for today. I'm going to have some lunch, rice with egg... YUM!

Today, for me... take a deep deep breath in and breath it out... and thank your lucky stars that you have a good pair of lungs...

LBG xx

Life and Death..

My MIL passed away at around 10:30am today. She was aged 64 and a half and died of Lung Cancer from Smoking. She fought the battle bravely for 1 year and 4 months after being diagnosed. May she Rest In Peace. Her suffering is finally over.

Haven't felt like eating much today. I've had 2 cups of coffee, some crackers and dip which I promptly PB'd up and trying to get down a cup a soup right now but feel like there is a golf ball stuck in my chest. Amazing how your band seems to react to the way you are feeling. I have had alot of butterflies in my stomach this weekend from what has been going on, and haven't been eating much at all. Even the yoghurt I had yesterday sat in my pouch for more than 4 hours. It wasn't until late in the evening that I felt like having something else to eat.

The funeral will be later this week I guess. A very sad day.

Do me a favour? Hug someone today.. I've been doing alot of that recently... It feels good.

LBG xx

Cancer...

My mother-in-law has end stage lung cancer and last night she was rushed to the emergency department because of an acute shortness of breath. So we went in last night and left just after midnight, after making sure she was a little more comfortable and settled in for the night. Today she woke up with mild confusion, not knowing where she is and because there were no familiar faces around her she was getting quite anxious and did not want to take her medications. She finally calmed down after a visit from a few doctors who have spent the past months treating her and seeing her on a regular basis. She's now been accepted into Respite care and was admitted today. How long she will stay for now, I don't really know. I was googling the signs and symptoms of end-stage lung cancer and she has alot of them now - SOB, rapid heart rate, moments of delirium, tiredness, pain etc ... the list is pretty endless.. part of me wants this to be over... because she's so uncomfortable and is so scared.

My husband and I are both tired of dropping everything to take the 40 minute drive to the hospital just to sit in silence and stare at him mum while she breaths noisily into an oxygen mask and then watch how anxious and depressed his dad gets. We normally get the call in the evening, and spend our evening in the car or at the hospital. Each trip costs us over $20 in tolls and then around $20 in parking and we usually don't get home until late. Just this week, we've been to see her three times!! So draining... emotionally and physically.

Can definitely see the emotional eating monster rearing its ugly head. That and the fact that TTOM is coming up next week... I've been drowning my sorrows in the fun sized chocolate bars like nobody's business... I've had 4 maltesers and 2 milky way bars. I don't even think the calorific intake for all that chocolate would add up to one full sized chocolate bar... but I feel like a pig!!!

Enough procrastinating... I need to go home and then get to the hospital...

Have a great weekend everyone.. and cherish your health :)

LBG xx

I blew it!

I think I'm going to have to start back tracking my food intake on CK as I totally blew it last night with my food intake.

Yesterday I had a shocker with food. I was so freaking tight I barely drank my coffee in the morning, struggled through a few rice crackers, lunch was a half eaten soup half of which ended up in the toilet. Mid afternoon I had a packet of mamee noodles which totally didn't sit right with me and ended up in the sink, so by dinner time I felt totally drained and in NEED of food. My husband asked that I cook nachos for dinner. I make up the mince but add extra veges like capsicum, mushrooms, onions and tomato to make it semi-healthy. My husband just has the corn chips, mince and cheese. I put myself a cup of the mince, around 25g of the chips and added a dolop of sour cream and some guacamole which I had made up. Perfect size for me, ate it in 30-40 mins. And then I had a choc wedge ice-cream at 163 calories, then a Jarrah hot chocolate with 4 marshmallows (and a couple extra marshmallows as I was making it). So ended up eating a little more than I should have last night!!

Today I'm struggling through a bowl of quick oats, but at least I'm not hungry and it's nice and soft for me to get down!! I have cruskits with the left over guacamole, tomato, roast chicken slices and cottage cheese for lunch. Not sure how that will go... we'll see. Also plan to have a small latte in the afternoon and a mandarin if I can manage it. Dinner is going to be 1 rissole or a small piece of baked fish with a light batter on it, some steamed cauliflower and brocolli and 1 baby potato baked into wedges.

I am definitely going to start tracking my food intake into Calorie King. I found that I was alot more accountable with my food intake and calorie intake if I knew just how much I was eating. I'm also going to start measuring my food again just so I keep the portions in check.

Didn't make it to my spin class either this morning. My legs are so freaking sore from the pump class yesterday I looked like an old lady getting out of bed this morning (you all know what that's like right?!?!). Don't worry, I'm still going to the Abs Butts and Thighs Class at lunch time today. Its a good class and will help me to get my legs moving and hopefully get some blood circulating to get those nasty lactic acid toxins out of my thighs!!! Definitely loving the exercise though and will look forward to when I'm not hurting so much!! I'll also go to the gym after work today for a 30 min walk.

Still not drinking enough water either. We normally buy low joule cordial but my husband accidentally picked up the full sugar cordial which I have been drinking. God it tastes good, but at 100cal a glass I can't really afford to be drinking it. Thank goodness it's nearly all gone!!

OK, enough from me.

LBG xx