Loving my band..

I'm not sure if I've mentioned recently that I love my band. Well I do... it is the best thing I could have possibly done for myself. Sure, it hasn't been easy, and I still have to work at losing weight... but after all is said and done, I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I keep on thinking that I should be losing weight more quickly, and I am still disappointed in myself that in the 8.5 months I've had this band, I've lost almost 16kg.. Ok, Ok, I know... that's around 2kg a month... and considering I was out of action with my exercise for around 3 months because of my back AND I changed jobs twice... I have to keep telling myself that I'm doing pretty darn good!

Anyhoo, I weighed in at 92.9kg the other day. YAY! I'm in the 92's and looking straight down the barrel of the 80's... I thought I'd be excited when I got into the 90's, fuck, I don't know how I'm going to react when I see that sweet sweet number 8 replace "that's so 90's" number 9. I will cry... I am totally going to cry.

I had to reschedule my check up with my surgeon until 9th November just cos I can't make my 2nd November appointment anymore... and so that gives me 3.5 weeks to get into the 80's. I told my doctor that the next time he saw me I'd be in the 80's and dammit, that's what is going to happen!! 3.0kg to go.... bring it on!

LBG xx

So close I can taste it!

I'm 500g away from reaching 20% weight loss. That's right peoples, I have lost 1/5th of me. Truely amazing. I'm still stuck on the same weight I was last week (93.3kg). But happy none the less as I was eating at weird times while I was travelling last week and wasn't exercising at all. Planning to put in a bit more effort this week as I am at home and have a more regular routine.

Nothing much else to report. I'm kind of inbetween sizes at the moment. Some size 18 clothes fit me really well, some are too loose and some are too tight.. go figure eh?

Take care!

LBG xx

Travelling.. and the band

The 3 hour time change from Sydney to New Zealand has really fucked me up. I'm hungry at the weirdest times. I was up at 5am sydney time (8am local NZ time) and wasn't hungry, but got a smoothie from room service to tie me over. Meanwhile, "lunch" was at 9:30am sydney time (12:30 pm local time) had half of a small sausage role and puked it back up, yet it's now 4:30pm local time (1:25pm sydney time) and I'm STARVING!!

I'm happy with my weight loss at the moment. It's slowed down a little... 300g down in 5 days.. I'm looking forward to seeing the 80's on the scales soon! But I'm feeling good, have loads of energy and am loving the fact that my size 18 work skirt is comfortable to the point of being a tad loose! *go me!*

I'm not sure if I should visit the mini bar for a snack, or just wait the 1.5 hours until dinner.. cos if I eat something now, I won't be hungry come dinner, but if I wait until dinner, then I might eat too quickly and have a "mishap". Decisions, decisions..

LBG xx

15kg... GONE!

It's taken a while, but I've finally hit my 15kg weight loss mark. This is almost the halfway point for my weight loss goals. I would like to lose another 17-18kg... before I reasses. I'm STOKED!

I see my doctor on 2nd November, just under 1 month for a check-up and blood test. I promised him that I would be in the 80's by the time I saw him. So that's 3.7kg to lose in 4 weeks. Definitely doable...

I've realised that the head hunger will never disappear, I just have learnt to manage it better by eating foods that I know are going to make me full and not vomit. I've also learnt that if I'm not hungry, I don't have to eat... even if it is "time" to according to the clock. I'm also happy to have smaller portions where as before I would try to eat as much as I could and deal myself out a larger portion. 8 months on and I'm still learning things about my band ...

LBG xx

P.S I LOVE my band :)

Weight loss has picked up!

Down to 93.8kg this weigh in. Definitely comes down to the increased amount of exercise I am doing now that I'm fully recovered from my surgery.

I went out to dinner with my family last night. My family don't know about my band. All being very health conscious they were asking me what I was doing to lose the weight. "Smaller Portions and Exercising" is my usual reply. I'm not telling a lie, I'm just not mentioning that I have something that helps me along a little. I feel bad lying to them, especially when I am now 12kg lighter than my sister (I've always been the largest sister). But, I feel like this is my journey and I need to do this on my own. I will tell them eventually, but I don't feel ready at the moment. I think I still need to prove to myself that I can do it, lose the weight, get down to my goal weight and keep it off for a while.

But seeing my sister last night made my heart ache for her (she's gained 7kg since I last saw her in May!). Knowing that I could but won't give her the information and advice she desparately needs to help her lose weight was making me feel really guilty. I hate seeing her overweight and miserable, but I couldn't bring myself to confide in her about my lap band, because my family is so close I KNOW it will get out even if I ask her not to say anything to Mum and Dad.

One day I'll tell them... just not now :) and I'm OK with that.

200g to go until I've lost 15kg since the banding... bring on the 80's!!!

LBG xx

I LOVE my band

Sometimes I love my band, sometimes I hate my band... at the moment, I am totally loving my band, and if I could... I would open myself up and kiss my lovely piece of silicon that's wrapped around my stomach... Hrmm. Ok, maybe not...

I weighed in at 95.4kg today. I know, I'm becoming a little scales obsessed but I just can't help it. I love seeing the numbers drop every couple of days. When I don't lose weight, the scales are my enemy and I put them away and only weigh in once a week.. but when I'm going through a good drop, I can be known to weigh in 2-3 times a day..

Just to give you an idea of what I'm eating at the moment:
BF: nothing, or a protein shake. (always have a berocca performance, iron tablet and fish oil when I first wake up and then a cuppa tea when I first get to work)
MT: half an apple or half an orange
L: Can of tuna, half a tomato, few slices of avocado, cucumber and capsicum (normally don't get through it all) or one of those small healthy choice twin pack frozen meals or a toasted cheese sandwich (normally leave the crusts so probably eat around 3/4 of it)
MT: the other half of the piece of fruit I was eating, or a can of coke zero if I'm not particularly hungry, or a Le snack or a cup a soup
D: 1 cup of something. I have these small ramiken dishes that I put my meals into now... or on a bread and butter plate... sometimes my band won't like what I've eaten, so it's normally with extra sauce
S: Cup of tea with or without 2 chocolate chip bikkies or 1 scoop icecream with chocolate sauce.

Averaging 1000 cals/day and exercising 5 times during the week burning around 500 cals per session.

I feel like I've gotten control of the band a little bit now and am working it to my advantage. It also really helps that I have some awesome bandit friends who I can turn to for advice or a bit of a whinge.

Speaking of which, one of my bandit mates and gym buddies is going into hospital on Tuesday to have a TUMMY TUCK after losing over 40kg. GOOD LUCK HONEY!!!

Enough from me. Enjoy what's left of the weekend!

Will post soon.

LBG xx

Goodness gracious me!

What a month! My back totally fucked up at the end of August and I ended up having a partial discectomy to remove the piece of disc pressing on a nerve running down my leg. So, no exercise for this little chicken and consequently no weight loss either. I even had to cancel my fill appointment with Dr B as I was in hospital at the time.

4 weeks later and I'm back at the gym and feeling fantastic. NO MORE PAIN!! I'm even down to 96.1kg which is 100g off 20kg lost (since my heaviest).

I've been concentrating on foods that I know will make me feel fuller eating less of it, so chocolate is a no-no. Things like fruit and veges and lean protein (no surprises there!). Not PB'ing as much at the moment, only on the odd occasion when I get REALLY hungry and wolf something down and then think "Oh-Oh" as I know the inevitable is going to happen. Up it comes and I'm good again.

Will post more now that I'm back on the weight loss bandwagon again.

Cheers,

LBG xx

Biting the bullet...

I'm going back for another fill. I've plateaued since my last doctors appointment and I can't take it anymore! It's so weird, cos some days I'm tight as and can hardly get anything down, and some days I can eat quite a bit and it will hardly touch the sides. It's really frustrating. So, I booked in for another fill next Monday.

Other than that, everything is going OK. Have been PB'ing once every second day or so... normally cos I eat too fast and don't chew properly...Hopefully this fill will give me a bit of a boost for my weight lost because it's starting to be a bit depressing that I've undergone major surgery for weight loss and I'm not losing any weight...

LBG xx

No, not the steak!!

Tonight I went round to Mum and Dad's for dinner. I love it cos I miss mum's cooking. They don't know about the band, and have told them that I am furiously losing weight for the wedding, so please only serve me food on a bread and butter plate. Mum asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. "What are we having?" I ask... She replies: "Steak..". I start to feel this sick nauseated feeling in my stomach. I haven't attempted steak since I had my band (hence the reason why I'm boarderline anaemic!). She brought out the steak from the fridge. I had my fingers silently crossed that this steak would be small minute steak that I could attempt to get down... No, these were the biggest mother-fucking chunks of meat I had ever seen in my life. It looked as though each peice was the side of a cow. It would have been at least an inch deep and probably about 20 cm in length. I seriously did not know how I was going to be able to eat a third of that, let alone the whole thing. Thank god Mum asked me if I wanted to share a piece with her... I said yes.

Now, I love my meat... but I have come to the sad realisation that I will never be able to enjoy a nice barbequed piece of steak ever again... and I'm OK with that, really I am. This meat was cooked to perfection, with a nice thin edge of fat that gave it it's juicy goodness... I looked at my plate like I was mourning the death of an old friend. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to get two bites down, let alone the rest of the stuff on the plate (coleslaw, potato bake and salsa). Dad (or as we call him, the BBQ beef master) was very proud of his efforts to cook my steak to my liking (Medium) and was totally devastated when I left more than 3/4 of it! He kept on asking me why I wasn't eating it and if I liked it. I felt so bad, you could see the look of complete sadness from my Dad that I wasn't enjoying this hunk of cow... so I avoided eye contact with him for the whole meal, but I could tell he was watching me.



Didn't get the whole meal down, and I knew I wouldn't. I felt the familiar tightness in my chest and knew I had to excuse myself somehow. Now, a rule in our family is that you never get up to go to the toilet during a meal. I was up shit creek without a fucking paddle and the urgent need to relieve myself of the big chunk of cow that was lodged in my poor little stomach! I made up some pathetic excuse that I had something in my eye... that seemed to work.. So I made a quick exit to the bathroom to puke, came back and played with my food for the rest of the dinner.



My steak eating days are well and truely over!!! No word of a lie, this was the size of the piece of meat I had to attempt to eat tonight...

AWOL... not much to report

Nothing has been happening... absolutely nothing. I'm living with the band, it's getting easier every day, and there are days when I still slip up and have to visit to loo to relieve myself, but everything is fine and dandy.

I must admit, I have been stable with my weight since my last post. I think with winter and my back injury I've found it a little difficult to find the motivation to exercise in the cold... and warming comforting foods are... well.. they're warm and comforting.. and I'm eating them, and they're going down really easy - soups, casseroles and the like... things with sauces in them, where the meat is so tender it just melts in your mouth and thus slips through the band easily. Now you may be thinking, she needs a fill then. No, I don't... I've got good restriction.. and when I eat the right foods - wholegrains, veges, lean meats and fruit I get full on small portions, but I have to admit, I haven't felt like fruit salads and grilled chicken lately... I know which foods keep me full and I know which ones slip through the band... and I'm just choosing the latter more often than the former. It will get easier once we slip into the warmer weather...

Hope all is well with your band :)

LBG xx